LMAOOOO @ The one for me! u know me well bab

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started
feeling ill. "Mommy," she said. "Can we leave now?"
"No," her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"
"Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up
behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes," the little girl replied.
"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and
return so quickly?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy." the little girl replied.
"They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the sick'."

lmao thats a good one stell haha



Remember not to 'f' things up.
mcq

Edited by forum moderator mr_mcquiston, at 13:32 Tue 8/01/08 (GMT)

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods, because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

BRYAN nikname Beefy

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.



Dear Beefy-I mean Bryan,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check

Edited at 01:04 Fri 18/01/08 (GMT)

EDIT: Fix image link

Edited by forum moderator nick, at 20:22 Wed 29/12/10 (GMT)

aaa i cant get the picture to go on

well here is link to picture

http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa282/welshgal1981/Beef.jpg

been getting a few good emails lately lol

Funny yet true I suspect. It would have worked so much better with a woman though because of the sexist world we live in.

Yeah... we're all sexists, you should have chosen a woman!

Good one Goonies LMAO Luv that

yep i thought was women

*ashamed of myself lmao

lol

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"
"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."

LMAO at that^^^ good one

this ones baaad

Recently, I was at a professional football game supporting my favorite team. My seat wasn't the greatest, so when i noticed a vacant seat on the fifty yard line 10 rows up, I headed towards it. I asked the man sitting next to it if the seat was taken. He replied, "No".
I started talking to the man and I learned he owned the seat I was in. He said, "My wife use to love to come to these games until she died."

"Why didn't you give this seat away to a friend?" I asked.

He replied, "Because they are all at her funeral."

lmao thats great

Rumour has it that Heath Ledger died of a drug overdose, apparently he got addicted to crack while filming Brokeback Mountain.

man---- too soon!!



Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really disgruntled.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Post removed by forum moderator

*tumbleweed floats by*lol

A blonde gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy on the field stood by himself while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. "You OK?" she says. "Yes" he says. "You can play with the other kids you know." "It's best I stay here" he says. "Why's that?" says the blonde. "Because I'm the goalie"

Please make sure these jokes are tasteful for a family site. Thanks.