lol

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?


Because it soots him.

u saynig tht cus it funni or saarcasm?

Don't remember, tbh; more than likely just wanted to say something in order to push RTH to page 2.

continuing the christmassy theme...


British Christmas Gifts
A supposedly true story...

In the weeks before Christmas the British ambassador in Canada received a phone call from
the CBC (CBC Canadian Broadcasting Company, a Canadian TV station). The CBC representative
on the other end of the line thanked the ambassador for his prompt arrival at interviews
etc, and for a generally good year. The ambassador returned the thanks. The CBC
representative then asked the ambassador what he wanted for Christmas. Thinking that it
might be inappropriate for him to accept a gift, the ambassador said that he didn't think
that it was a very good idea. However, The CBC representative insisted, and in the end the
ambassador said that he wanted a small box of crystallised fruits.

The CBC rep seemed a little puzzled at this answer, but they ended the conversation and
the ambassador thought nothing more of it.

. Later that month, on Boxing Day, the ambassador
was sitting watching the news on TV with his family when he was treated to this item at the
end: "Before Christmas, we asked three foreign ambassadors what they wanted for Christmas.
The French ambassador said that he wanted world peace and an end to suffering, the German
ambassador said that he wanted a cure for cancer, and the British ambassador said that he
wanted a small box of crystallised fruits...."

i got a really bad one

why shouldnt you sleep with someone with learning difficulties and very small...









because its not big and its not clever

tickled me lol

I got thrown out of a muslim lap-dancing club last night...

All i said was

"Get ya face out for the lads !"

Lol found it quite amusing

lol

It was supposed to be a happy time,but it wasn't.Santa was really angry.It was Christmas
Eve & NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies.The Elves
were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in
& the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon & were dead drunk. They had taken the
sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day & crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of
the runners.

Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of
presents all over the world in just a few hours & all my reindeer are drunk, my
Elves are on strike & I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid little Angel
out HOURS ago to find a tree & he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then the Little Angel opened the front door & stepped in from the snowy night,
dragging a Christmas tree behind him. "Yo, Santa", he says, "Where do you want me to stick
the Christmas tree this year??"

And thus the tradition of Angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass...

This one made me laugh

I went to the gym yesturday, i found this awesome machine, but after using it for a whole hour i started feeling sick....

It was great though, it had everything ! mars bars, twix's, milky ways, crisps, drinks, snickers and a whole lot more !

HAHAHAHAHHAHA Some good ones there..


Stelllllllaaaaaa.... get ur (_x_) back here bab

I'm not giving my last new year resolution a go...

My last resolution was to run 2 miles everyday, by the time summer came i was bloody lost!!!

LOL

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her
ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt
and the phone rang - but instead of picking up
the phone I accidentally picked up the iron
and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But. what happened to your other ear?"
"The swine only called me back."

LMAO

A blonde secretary, who works in an office with friend,
Commented at lunch that it was such a shame that the spice
girls couldn't stay together considering they are sisters and all.
There was silence for a bit, then someone told her that they
weren't sisters. She said, " Of course they are, they have the
same last name." She Has unofficially been named "Dumb
Spice"

One for Paula........LMAO at this!!

Q: What colour is a Burp ??





A: Burple !!

LOOOOL !
I like the blonde red ear one