Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.

At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.

Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, "This is the place!".

The other replied, "No, it's not!".

The first man said, "Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.

To which the other man replied, "Silly, you can't tell a brook by it's clover."

"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.

"Oh," says the second guy.

A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"

"See what?" the second guy asks.

"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."

"Oh."

A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"

By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"

And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen.
It said, 'Parking Fine.'

So that was nice."

LMAO

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle.

" The bloke said "Kenwood"

I said, "Where is he?"

WOOOOOOOOOOO i luv these short ones Stell!

unlike most women !!

I met this guy today who invented Tipp Ex,

he said "correct me if I'm wrong".

OH FFS Ha Ha Ha Ha......a-ahhhhhhhhhhhh but im not most woman am i?? I'm erm..just some girl

Luvin the jokes

Q: Why doesnt Bob Marley like the donuts in heaven??











































A: Because they havent got jammin'.



Edited at 23:49 Thu 23/11/06 (GMT)

LMAO! @ ALLL OF EM!

What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!!

A concerned husband went to the doctor to talk about his wife.

He said to the doctor, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things."

"Well," the doctor replied, "go home tonight, stand about 15 feet from her, and say something. If she doesn't reply, move 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this until we get an idea about the severity of her deafness."

The husband went home and did exactly as the doctor had instructed. He started off 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she was chopping some vegetables.

He said, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

He heard no response. He moved 5 feet closer and asked again. No reply. He moved 5 feet closer. Still no reply.

He finally got fed up and moved right behind her, about an inch away, and asked again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replied, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held he package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

(Cont. from above)/\ /\

teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

SURPRISE!

PMSL

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear pants, don't you?

He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said... Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

She said... What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.

He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said... Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said... Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said... I would, but you're never there.

He said... Shall we try a different position tonight?
She said... That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board and i'll watch tv and fart.

Edited at 12:20 Fri 24/11/06 (GMT)

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pmfsl Luv them

These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and all came home at about the same time.

The first one said, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up."

The second one said, "No, you know you've been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared."

The third one said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck. She said, "Now THAT'S a good date

a italian man a french man and a chinise man go 2 the uk looking 4 a job but they have to construct a sentence with yellow green and pink but not in the exact same order.

the italianman says "i wake up in the morning and i see the yellow sun and the green grass and i hope it will be a pink day"

the frenchman says "i wake up in the morning and have a yellow bannana and a green apple and i down it with a pink yogurt".

the chinese man says "i wake up in the morning and here the phone go green green i pink it up and go yellow!!"

lol pm me if thats good

a italian man a french man and a chinise man go 2 the uk looking 4 a job but they have to construct a sentence with yellow green and pink but not in the exact same order.

the italianman says "i wake up in the morning and i see the yellow sun and the green grass and i hope it will be a pink day"

the frenchman says "i wake up in the morning and have a yellow bannana and a green apple and i down it with a pink yogurt".

the chinese man says "i wake up in the morning and here the phone go green green i pink it up and go yellow!!"

lol pm me if thats good