Doctor: "I have good news and bad. The good is you have 24 hours to live."
Patient: "Oh no! then what's the bad news?"
Doctor: “I forgot to call you yesterday."

If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife knocking on the front door who would you let in first?
The dog. at least he would shut up once he is in.

What is the difference between a welshman and his photograph?

The photograph is fully developed!

What do you call a Chinese guy with 1 ball?
Whatwentwong

haha sorry its pathetic bt still =)

PMSL! i luv them...........

Paddy and Mick walking down the road and Paddy say.."Look at that dead bird"
Mick looks up and asks.."Where??"..........

FFS lol
paddy and murphy standing on the edge of a cliff,
paddy has an arm full of parrots perched on him
murphy has an arm full of budgies.

They both jump off the cliff, hit the rocks at the bottom and die.... and wen they both get to heaven paddy turns to murphy and says,"I dont think much of that parrott gliding!" To Which Murphy replies." Yeah i dont think much of that budgie jumping neither!"

lol ...similar to the chinese bollok one....

Q. What do you call a russian with three balls?
A. Who'dyanickabollokov

not gr8 but still made me chuckle

HAHAHAHA.............

2 Tomatoes walking across the road, one goes "Look at that lorry" SPLAT!!!
"Where?" SPLAT!!!


HA HA HA lmao!!..........*Wipes tears away* haha

wat does pmsl mean???? im confoosed

Píssing myself laughing

what do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?


a wind tunnel.

lol...as stupid as the joke is it still made me chuckle lol

I said to the man at the bus stop with no legs ,, alright how you getting on ? ( ste4eva joke ) just so he doesnt get angry he told me that

Edited at 10:10 Sat 29/04/06 (BST)

two pieces of vomit were walking down the street...

one started crying
his m8 said "why are you crying"

he replies with "this is where i was brought up"



Edited at 15:08 Sat 29/04/06 (BST)

this is larry the cable guy

why does the blond girl have a bruise in her bellybutton?

because blond guys arent that smart either

Edited at 15:37 Sat 29/04/06 (BST)

DUDE: doctor doctor, people keep ignoring me!!

DOC: next please !!!!

don't get it

heres a good 1
bush,cheney and rumsfield are on a plane and bush said 'i could throw a hundred dollar bill out the window and make 1 person very happy.'cheney says'i could throw 10 10 dollar bills out the window and make 10 ppl happy'rumsfield not to be out done says'i could throw 100 1 dollar bills out the window and make 100 ppl happy'the pilot says to the co pilot i could throw all 3 out the window and make 56 million ppl happy'

wo woh woh hang on there chap i know your keen, this joke was on the other jokes thread, see this is what happens when people get there jokes from the internet and copy and paste, just put a link up to a joke site and we can read all these and more!

cheers for the "thanks for the good idea" in advance

Q) What do you call a horse with no head?

A) A silly horse....


The more illegal things you have done in the night, the funnier that joke seems to be!