What did one egg say to the other??
Nothing, eggs cant talk!!!...........

PMSL !!!

what do you call a sheep tied to a lampost in cardiff?

a leasure centre

a tramp walks in2 a bar and asks for a toothpick the bartender gives the tramp the toothpick
5 mins later another tramp walks in and asks for a toothpick once again the bar tender gives him a toothpick
10 mins later antoher walks in and asks for a straw and the bartender says y do u need a straw ure a tramp
and the tramp replies
some1s been sick outside and all the good bits have gone

Will Young, Robbie Williams and Kylie went for a night on the town, as they left the night-club, Kylie slipped and got her head stuck between the railings
of the fence opposite the club.

Robbie decided to take full advantage of this and lifted up her little skirt, pushed her thong to one side and gave her a good seeing to.

"Its your turn now, Will" grinned Robbie but Will started crying.
Robbie asked "Why are you crying, Will? What's wrong?"
Will sobbed "My head won't fit between the railings"

Edited at 07:44 Fri 5/05/06 (BST)

PMFSL! Oooooooooo i want my head stuck too..I wuv Rob!

A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an
attractive woman standing alone.
He approached her and asked her name.
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the
things I like most - cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Beertits," he answered...

PMFSL!!

A banana and a d ildo on a bed side unit. The banana says to the d ildo, "I
don't know why you are shaking, she's going to eat me"

There was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.

The girl came up to him and asked, "What do you have under the newspaper?"

Thinking quickly, the guy replied, " A bird."

The girl walked away, and the guy fell asleep.

When he woke up, he was in the hospital in tremendous pain.

The police asked him what happened.

The guy says, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this little girl asked me a question, I guess I dozed off, and the next thing I know is I'm here."

The police went to the beach, found the girl, and asked her, "What did you do to that naked fellow?"

After a pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with his bird and it spat on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs and set it's nest on fire!!!"

Never lie to kids, ESPECIALLY GIRLS!!

woohooooooooooo 150 posts

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...............Luvin the jokes...

A Blonde woman sittin doing a jigsaw says to her hubby..."Can u help me? its 'spose to look like a Tiger!"
Hubby sighs and says "Put the flippin Frosties back in the box!!".woooooooooooo

A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. He asked her, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain why later."
The nun agreed to his request. Shortly there after, the two MPs came running along and asked her if she had seen a soldier running down the road. She replied, "He went that way".
After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said." I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq. The nun said she understood.
The GI said, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have the most beautiful pair of legs I've ever seen!" The nun replied," If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen
the most beautiful pair of balls you've ever seen! I don't want to go to Iraq either!

I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds“. I said “Waiter,
I asked for AROMATIC duck“

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins,“That's a turtle disaster“.

HA HA HA HA............ur mad u

i know

haha stella mate keep these coming there funny as hell!!!!

hahaha

heres a really $hit joke: How do you make a sausage roll???? Push it.

(b'tish goes the drum)

OMFG Ste!!!!! HA HA HA That made me laff sooooooooooo much oh ffs hahahahaha.........
Ive never heard that one,,,,,hahahahaa

hahahaha paula not that funny hun keep am comin evry1