So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

P M F S L !u makeme laff so much with these jokes!

pmsl i like the aquarium one!

I wouldn't say i was unlucky but............


I backed a horse yesterday at Twenty to One.

It came in this morning at Twenty past Five.

Pmsl. where do ya get em from stella?

Dunno where he gets them from but keep them coming (so to speak)




(hope ya feelin better Stell)

so my dad's sister visited the other day, spinning round in circles, I thought "oh my giddy aunt"











(nope still rough)

Lmao!!








(Awww Hugs to you hun....i got to go tho..cya laters )

I've got a cat called Minton, he ate all my shuttlecocks.................bad minton !!!

LOL! ROFL!

LMAO!! I LOOOOOVEE THAT ONE STELLLAAA



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!

What do you call 100 nuns in a shop? Virgin Megastore.

My sister used to go out with a mushroom harvester – apparently he used to be a Fun guy to be with!

Edited at 16:48 Thu 23/11/06 (GMT)

AND HERES MY FAV JOKE!
I LOVE THIS ONE! HAHA!

Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet.

The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross."

So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our f*cking car."

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."

"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How in hell does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me...is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say,'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"

"I say Sem Ting."

This made me laugh

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... Main entrance.

Lmao @ them...dont get the one about the cat called minton tho :S


omg i just got it...pmfsl!! Durrrr!!!

Edited at 17:04 Thu 23/11/06 (GMT)

OMG!

BADMINTON! THE SPORT PMSL!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted.
I was so shocked I swerved the car.
He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again.
He then made me managing director & I went right off into a tree.
The police came and asked me what had happened.
I said "I careered off the road"

I dont get it?