whats blue and swings from tree to tree???


A monkey in a boiler suit

PMSL

what you call a man scratching his as s?

a man with stingy ring obv!

LMFAO.......Uve lost the plot Dave

Did you hear about the man who lost his plot??

He couldn't plot anything again...ever...

PMFSL

Hear about the the rug obsessed man, he needed a new carpet...


Apparently he needed one SHAGGY, so he could SHAG on it.

OMFG IM PMSL

2 biscuits...walking down the street, one decides to run across the street...

...he gets run over...his mate just says:

OH CRUMBS!!!

OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAH

pmsfl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently, i've been using News of the world as a poop scooper, it works really well...

...then again, News of the world is full of s**t these days anyway.






(made that up on the spot)

Edited at 11:17 Tue 24/10/06 (BST)

Did you know that Afgahnistan TV is now back to broadcasting??

They have got rid off the tellyban

Bra sizes
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it's about time you became informed!

{A} - Almost Boobs...
{B} - Barely there.
{C} - Can't Complain!
{D} - Damn!
{DD} - Double damn!
{E} - Enormous!
{F} - Fake.

A cabbie picks up a Nun.She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.She asks him why is he staring.He replies, "I have a question, but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My son, u cannot offend me. Im sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me."She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: 1, you have to be single and 2, you must be Catholic."The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and Catholic!"
"OK" the Nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying."My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"4give me but Ive sinned. I lied I must confess, I'm married and Jewish."The nun says,"That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Hahaha. nice 1 tid

The Creation Of Woman

First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, Theres something hes needing
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing...........
Then he added a mouth, and ruined the whole damn thing

lmfao...love em!!

Bumper stickers

IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

Illiterate? Write For Help.

Honk If Anything Falls Off.

Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.

He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits
With An Unarmed Person.

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...

AND Finally .

"POLITICIANS & NAPPIES BOTH NEED
TO BE CHANGED OFTEN, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"