LMFAO!!

Black people are complaining that there not on t.v much so now there putting crime watch on 2 nights a week

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle...
From the Daily News comes this story of a walsall
couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to
see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although
the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she
dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by........... The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

Ha Ha Ha.....

Another one for the girlies......

Once upon a time a beautiful independent self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with mum, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so". That night, while the princess dined on frogs legs, she laughed to herself and thought :

"I don't fcuking think so".

WOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE IT Pmsl! More More!!!! hahaha

A young couple had just returned from their honeymoon and were settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met the man in the hallway.

She said, "I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your bride would like to have them?"

"I'll ask her," the young man responded. He opened his door and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight?"

"Hey, honey," she retorted. "If you show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going home to mother."

love em!!

Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one was attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Forty Niners' fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But, I'm not a Niners' fan," the boy replied.

"Oakland Raiders' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"No, I'm not a Raiders' fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Cowboys' fan." replied the boy.

The reporter turns to a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck knob kills family pet."

The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.

"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my boobs and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights'. Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'What a smooth finish'."

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.

"Nothing, but then you felt my p**sy and yelled, 'Who the hell left the garage door open'?"

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad, what does a v agina look like before s ex?

Well son, a v agina before s ex is truly a beautiful thing! It is the most wonderful thing God ever created. It is more delicate than a fresh picked rose. It's aroma is more beautiful than the finest of perfumes. It's feel is that of the softest silk. It's taste is that of pure nectar.

Wow!

Even the words of the greatest poets fail to do justice to it's heavenly wonderment. Man would even sacrifice his own soul for just the mere glimpse of it's pure divinity.

It sounds wonderful, Dad. What do they look like after s ex?

Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?

i think that joke has been on here b4 Stella m8
gd joke anywayz

whats the last thing tht goes through a mosquitoes mind when it hits ur windscreen?




its a ss

hear about the blind man tht went bungee jumping?



scared the s hit out of the dog

A MAN IS CHATTING UP A GIRL AND TURNS ROUND AND ASKS "your place or mine?"
she replied "both i'm goin 2 mine and ur going 2 urs"

I went to BnQ today, i walked in the man said you want decking, so i got the first punch in.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO




Oi Stella! Less of them about us girls!

lmao stellaman tht a gr8 joke!