Another twist to this would be to distribute fifteen blank keys to male friends of the bride-to-be and two more blank keys to a guy and a very old lady. Then, during the reception, while people are making toasts, announce to everyone that since the bride is no longer available, any guy with a key to her apartment should turn it in at the tray that has been set up, whereby the fifteen pre-selected men would walk up and turn in their keys and make the same announcement for the groom, whereby both the old lady and the other guy would both walk up with their key.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

LMFAO. greta joke stella.

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall, but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks, the two went back to the tall woman's apartment.

"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."

"Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs, and close your eyes," said the midget.

The woman did as she was told, and soon she felt the biggest thing she had ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes, the woman had climaxed eight times.

"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"

lmfao

I'm very sorry, but this done me (so to speak)

There were two g ay men in the bathroom at their home, and one was putting Vaseline on his chest. The other g ay man asked him, "Why are you putting Vaseline on your chest?"

The first g ay man replied, "Didn't you know that Vaseline helps you grow hair on your chest?"

The other g ay man said, "Well if that was a proven fact, then you should have a ponytail growing out of your a ss!"

LMFAO



Edited at 18:31 Thu 12/10/06 (BST)

i dont get it

LMFAO!!

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." She swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

Q: Why are only 2% of all blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt-n-peckers.

Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin.

*Ahem* whats with all the blonde jokes??


PMSL good jokes tho

Sorry

Lmao its ok, ya not the only one who does blonde jokes........*cough* Stella *cough*

lmao you want more blonde jokes.

haha these are superb guys

Have you heard about that intellegent blonde???



















Neither have i...

Which famous actress was always pictured with her fur coat?

(I'll give you half an hour to get the right answer)

Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by.

The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!"

One banana turns to the other and says, "Do you believe that s hit?"

A young fireman placed a ladder against the bedroom window of a burning house. Inside was a beautiful, curvy brunette in a see-through nightie with her boobs showing.

"Aha, you’re the second pregnant girl I’ve rescued", said the fireman.

"But I’m not pregnant!", the brunette indignantly said.

"You’re not rescued yet either", said the fireman.

Lmao