LMAO!! i needed a good laugh after the day ive had!

What am i part 2

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?
Chewing gum

5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
An elevator

Cont......

Edited at 20:19 Mon 9/10/06 (BST)

6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?
A nose

7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?
A newspaper boy

8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
A glove

9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
A crane

10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
A toothbrush, of course!

Edited at 20:18 Mon 9/10/06 (BST)

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i couldnt guess ONE of them without looking at the awnser
funily enough some other rather unusuall awnsers wondered through my head

PMSL

Condoms and Women

What do condoms and women have in common?
Both spend more time in a guy's wallet than on his c**k.

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

_________________________________________

Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

LMFAO!! i love em!!

Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man. "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years."

A secret pregnant lover

At the rehearsal dinner for my boss' daughter and son-in-law-to-be, a loud eight-months pregnant teenage girl suddenly appeared at the back of the room screaming ten minutes worth of curses that would befall the groom if he didn't marry the pregnant girl like he promised. It was set up by the boss' wife, and I am told that the groom very nearly burst into tears protesting his innocence.

Morris walks into Dr. Cohen's office and puts a note on the table in front of the doctor. The note reads, "I can't talk. Please help me!"

The doctor thinks for a while and says to Morris, "Put your p enis on the table here."

Morris thinks this is a bit weird, but Cohen is a specialist, so he does as the doctor says.

The doctor takes a rubber mallet and hits Morris's p enis as hard as he can.

The man cries in great agony, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The doctor says, "Good. Come again tomorrow, and we'll learn B!"

LOL

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations across the United States and rest of the world.

While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a ign that read "Will work for food." If he had only looked up, he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly a bove him read "Now hiring."

At an office: "This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have recieved raises, bonses and promotions."

SEEN ON A BILLBOARD ALONG A HIGHWAY: "Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education."

lol hahahaha

Patient: It isn't possible that I'm as overweight as you say I am.

Doctor: Maybe you would prefer to look at it in a different way. According to this chart, you're about 10 inches too short

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. The bartender gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts.

To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. "You look great tonight!" it said. "You really look fantastic... And that after shave is just wonderful!"

The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it.

Realizing he has no cigarettes, he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You GEEK... Oh my god you STINK... Do you know, you're almost as ugly as your mother."

By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the bartender for an explanation.

"Ah yes sir," the bartender responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."

i dont get it :S lol

lmao sas, u make me laugh more than the joke

i lost my sense of humour down the road *runs and picks it up* nope i still dont get it...pretty_woman can u come online please cos i need to tell you about my weekend lmao

Tell everyone in the general chat if its good.