LOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

LMAO Good one!

VASECTOMIES

I can understand why men don't like vasectomies.
My Dad got a vasectomy, and paid for it with MasterCard.

He forgot to pay the bill, and the finance company came over to his house and made my Mum pregnant.

PMSL!!

LMAO

A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a Mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was determined that the patient had an acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When the punk rocker was completely disrobed on the operating table, the operating room staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo reading: "Keep off the grass."

After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing that read: "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey. "But I just haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Edited at 19:31 Wed 4/10/06 (BST)

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

ooh this is funny........

A Bloke goes to the Zoo, but there was only a dog there............

It was a Sh itzu




That done me

Edited at 20:35 Wed 4/10/06 (BST)

HAHAHAHAHA OMFG! THATS WELL GD STELL HAHAHAHA
IM PROPER PMSLHAHAHAHA *sihs at face going red*






WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the definition of bravery?

A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

lmaoooo
Not bad haha

HAHAHAHAHAH all good jokes i luuuuuuuuuuuuuurve them

PMSL

hehe

Lmao thats a cracker!!

erm...joke...joke....a joke...OK GOT ONE!!:


A man walks into a butchers, and asks "do you have a sheeps head?"

The butcher replies " no it's just the way i comb my hair!"

Lmao not bad