After numerous rounds of: "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the F B I. No one could solve it so it went to the C I A, then to NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. MI-6 cabled the White House:
"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

What have Richard Hammond & Pete Doherty got in common...?

They have both been fkced up on Top Gear...!!!!

STELLA!! pmsl

LMAO STELLA !

Evil! Pure evil!!!




















LMAO!

Two dyslexic skiers are arguing at the top of the piste. One is insisting that they zig-zag down the slope, while the other is sure that the correct term is zag-zig. They see a man approching them and decide to ask his advice. "Excuse me," one says, "but we wish to ski down this slope, and don't know whether to zig-zag, or zag zig. What to you think?"

The man says, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you - I'm not a skier, I'm a tobogganist."

"In that case" says one "can you sell me 20 cigarrettes?"

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao

pmsl

Two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, "Hey Tim, what're you in for?"
"I'm getting my tonsils out - I'm a little worried," said Tim.
"Oh don't worry about it. I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and jelly I wanted for two weeks!"
"Oh wow!" replied Tim. "I really cant wait now!. Hey, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?"
"I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is!" Sammy answered.
"Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was 6 years old and I couldn't walk for two years!"

haha lmfao. heres mine:

a man and a woman meet at a nightclub and get on really well, all that usual crap. then the woman says she has a secret.

she tells the man that she doesnt believe in s.ex until after marriage. the man tells her that he has a secret aswell. he tells her that he is a baby downstairs. she says that size doesnt matter, its what you do with it that counts and he is happy

after 3 months, they get married. on the honeymoon, they get to the room and he rips his trousers off. she then faints. after he wakes her up, he asks her why she fainted.

"i thought you were a baby downstairs"
"yep i am, 9 pounds 6 ounces"

the bold bit is for all the guys who have small ding-dong's (dats sooooooo 6 year old) and dont have the bottle for s'ex. guys, it doesnt matter, just do your best. if it works, she is happy. if it dont, den try elsewhere

lmao

Top 10 games 4 ova 50's:
1.Sag! ur it
2.Pin the toupee on the bald guy
3.20 q's shouted in your gd ear
4.Kick the bucket
5.Red rover. red rover, the nurse says bend ova
6.Doc, doc, goose
7.Simon says somethin incoherent
8.Musical recliners
9.Spin the bottle of mylanta
10.Hide n go pee!

A Chinese couple is in bed one night, when the man gives his wife an elbow and says, "May-Ling, how about a little 69. I'm in the mood for some 69." "Shut-up and go back to sleep," groans his wife. "Come on, you know I like 69, and for that matter, so do you!" "What time is it?" "1:30." "You want me to get up at this hour and make beef and broccoli for the two of us?"

Q. whats the first sign of madness?

A. suggs walking down your driveway

stella top joke

What is it when a guy talks dirty to a girl?

Sexual harassment.


What is it when a girl talks dirty to a guy?

£1.50 a minute.

(Allegedly)

LOL !!

ooooooooooooo u wud know hey LMAO!!