PMSL!






SAP = JSG !!!!!!

woo congrats on the new name paula lol

Fankyouuuuuuu lol....

A mum takes her 16-y-old daughter to the doc. The doc says, "Ok, Mrs. Jones, whats the problem?"

The mum says, "It's my daughter. She keeps getting these cravings, shes putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."

The doc gives the girl a good examination, then turns to the mum and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your girl is pregnant-- about 4 months, would be my guess."

The mum says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, babe?"

The girl says, "No Mum I've never even kissed a man!"

The doc walked over to the window and just stares out it. About 5 mins pass and finally the mumsays, "Is there something wrong out there doc?"

The doc says, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and 3 wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"

There are 4 kinds of sex...

1. house sex: when ur just married u have sex all over the house and in every room

2. bedroom sex: when uve been married for a while u only have sex in the bedroom

3. hall sex: when uve been married for many, many years u only pass eachother in the hallways and say *FU.CK YOU*

4. court sex: when ur wife and her lawyer fu.ck u in the divorse court for every penny u got in front of a lot of other people

Lmao!

So, Mickey Mouse goes to his attorney's office. It turns out he's decided to divorce Minnie. The Lawyer says to Mickie, "Mick, you can't just divorce Minnie because she's silly."

Mickie replies, "I'm not divorcing her because she's silly; I'm divorcing her because she's fcuking Goofy!"

OMG Lmao..............






I Laffed so much last night my stomach muscles are sore! No More jokes yet plz!

lmao! like it!!

A Girl runs up to her mum and says "mummy see that boy across the road, his w!lly is just like a peanut" the mum then said "Oh, is it very small?" to which the girl replied "No, its very salty"

pmsl

John was waiting to cross the street when a blind man approached with his guide-dog. The traffic sign turned green and instead of helping its master to cross, the dog raised its rear leg and peed on the shoes of the blind man.

Observing that, the blind man reached into his pocket and offered the dog a cookie.

John told the blind man in amazement, "If it is my dog I'd have kicked its butt!". The blind man calmly replied, "I'm going to. But I need to find its head first".

LMAO !

HA HA HA HA HA

Subject: WELSH HUMOUR - KIND OF...


A ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small village and sees a
local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a
little fun, so he says to the Welshman "Morning Taffy, mind if I talk
to your dog?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid idiot."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Villager: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes
me to the lake once a week to play."

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)

carried on}

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes
me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Villager: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Villager: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."

OMFG LMAOOOOOOO!!!!!



Love it HAHAHAHA

“I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.”

HAHAHAHA

Who enjoys sex more, males or females?

Females do.

Look at it this way: Think about when your ear itches and you scratch it with your finger. When you pull your finger out, what feels better, your finger or your ear?