Post removed by an admin

o,,,,

What do you get if you cross a chav with a monarch?

The royal mint!

two big black bits of road tar wer sitting in a bar drinking boasting about who was the toughest...

"i had a lorry ride over me today" said one piece of tar

"thats nothing rick waller rode over me on his bike 2 days back" said the second peice of tar

then a small green peice of tar walks into the bar

the two black peices of tar run and hide in the corner

after the green tar has left the barman asks the black tar why they ran away if they were so tough...

"hes a cyclepath they replied" (psycopath)


i know its bad but its the only un- rascist, sexist etc joke i know

paddy is driving down an irish country lane when he sees patrick rowing a boat through a corn field...

its idiots like you who give us irish men a bad name" paddy shouts out his window... "and if i could swim i would come out there and kick your head in"

=O stella it got removed!!!!!!

louis, so the black tar actually said "they replied"

=S..........

Stella we need more jokes!!!!!!

steph i meant:

"hes a cyclepath they replied" (psycopath)

that means the tar also said "they replied" aswell

he should of closed the speech marks after "cyclepath" and put "they replied" afterwards

oh ok lol

( bit crud jokes but ah well) :

What u call a chinese man with a bad cough?
Wu-Ping!

What u call A chinese man on weed?
Foo King Haii.

What do ya call 10 a55es and a black man?
The a-team.

PMSL

There's this really old guy at an old-timer's dance, and the problem is that he hasn't scored any s ex for a long time. He'd been dancing with all the grandmas all night, but still hadn't scored.

Frustrated, he approached an old grandma and said "I'm having no luck scoring a woman. How about coming back to my place for a fun? i'll give you £20

She says "I'm willing, let's go" They get back to his place and after a bit of foreplay, they head for the bedroom. He's loving the s ex, and can't get over how tight she is for such an old woman, maybe she's a virgin. After the whole performance, he rolls off of her and says "Wow! Lady if I had of known you were a virgin, I would have given you £50"

Surprised, she says "If I had of known you were actually going to get a boner then I would have taken my tights off!!"

PMSL

A young boy comes home from school and his mother says "What did you do today?"

To which the boy says "Oh the usual, I had a math test, I got an A in spelling and I had s ex with my English teacher."

The mother, aghast, doesn't know what to say. She steams and stammers and finally she angrily says "Go in and tell your father what you just told me!"

The boy goes into see his father and says Gee mom sure is mad.

The father says why?

"I just told her what I did in school today. I had a math test, I got an A in spelling and I had s ex with my English teacher."

Well the father is beside himself with joy. He give his son a nudge and a wink and says "Congratulations - you passed a milestone. I'll tell you what, let's go out and celebrate. We'll have some ice cream and then I'll buy you a new bike."

The boy says - "The ice cream sounds great, but can we hold off on the bike a few days - my a ss is killing me

oooh thats too long for me 2 read

a blonde goes to a psciatrist (don't know how 2 spell) about dreams she had been having "tell me about ur dreams " said the phsiciatrist so the blonde says " well i'm in a big hall and theres a vampire chasing after me an when i reach a door i pull an pull but it dosn't budge and theres something written on it " the phsiciatrist asks "whats written on it?" the blonde replies " push "

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?


An Italian suppository

u know wat i mean