Wouldn’t it be for the 50th time?

On a serious note, the average centipede has only 35 pairs of legs.

'pool_life runs off after killing the joke'

PMFSL

PMSL

One day pinochio went to the doctors, complaining that women wouldnt sleep with him anymore because his knob had splinters, and the women said it was to uncomfortable for them.

So the doctor gave him a packet of sandpaper and said "here, this should sort the problem out"

A week passed and the doctor seen pinochio in the street, and said "hey!! are the women ok now mate"

Pinochio said "Women !! who needs women"

LMAO

Two whales were swimming deep in the ocean. One of them notices a whaling ship up on the surface and says to the other, "Hey that looks like the same whaling ship that got our friend just the other day."

The other whale says, "I think you're right. I've got an Idea. Lets go blow some bubbles underneath and tip the boat over."

Both whales agree and before long men are spilling into the ocean.

The fisrt whale says, "Ok lets have some more fun, and go eat some of those men."

The second whale replies, "I don't mind a good blow job, but I draw the line at swallowing sea men"

I had a joke,
something to do with acne and maise,
the punch line was hard pore cornography,
but I can't remember how it went oh well.

mr bear and mr rabbit are walking through the wods when they come across a genie. Mr bear and mr rabbit didn't lyk each other very much an the geenie gave them 3 wishes each. mr bear says i wish all the bears in this forest are woman "your wish is granted " the geenie says.
mr rabbit wishes for a crash helmet
then mr bear wishes that all the bears in the other forests were woman
mr rabbit then wishes for a moter bike and starts to rev it
mr bear then wishes tht all the bears in the world are woman bears
then mr rabbit says " i wish mr bear was g.ay!" and drove off as fast as he can

LMAO

There was a girl called amy an she wasn't the best at sunday school an always fell asleep
One day amy was sleepin an the teacher came up and asked "who created the universe?".
Johnny leaned forward an stapped her with a pin an amy jumped up an shouted "GOD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said good an amy fell back asleep.
The teacher came back an asked " who was gods son?"
once again johney stabbed her with a pin and she jumped up an shouted "JESUS CHRIST!"
the teacher said good an amy fell asleep agian
this time the teacher asked "what did eve say to adam when she had her 21st child
again johnny stabbed her but this time she turned round an shouts "SEE IF U PUT THT IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF!!" the teacher fainted

A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble.

"Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll just have to be a little boulder!"

A man fell asleep on the beach under the noonday sun and suffered a severe sunburn and heatstroke. He was taken to the hospital where his skin was bright red, painful and had started to blister.

Anything that touched him caused agony. The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative, and Viagra.

"What good will Viagra do him in that condition?" the nurse inquired.

The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheet off of him."

An old woman goes into a bikers bar. She demands to talk to the leader.

A tough looking bearded biker stands up.

"I wanna join your gang!", she says.

The biker thinks for a second. "Do you have any tatoos?" he asks.

"Sure'' as she bares her arm.

"Hmmm, do you have a leather jacket?"

"Out on my hog." she says.

"You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

"No, but I've been swung around by my t its a few times!"

PMSL

T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T
A business man got on an elevator.
When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with

a bright, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest
smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'

HAHAHA

lol good one

A blonde had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine untill the horse started to bounce out of control. She tried to hang on with all of her might, but was thrown off. With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell headfirst to the ground.

Her head continued to bounce on the ground and the horse didn't even stop or slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Tesco's manager came out and unplugged the ride.

Thank goodness for heroes.

PMSL