haha

LMAO!!

HAHA

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh1t"

an irish boy wins 4 million on the lottery & goes 2 camelot 2 claim his prize camelot tell him they could only give him 1 million every week for the 4 weeks & the irish guy said if your going 2 p*** me about just give e my pound back

A couple found themselves feeling a little "frisky" so they sent the children outside to play, went into the bedroom, and locked the door.

After a while, the older boy grew tired of playing and came into the house. He noticed odd noises coming from his parents' bedroom and went over and spied through the keyhole. He ran out to get his sister, brought her inside and told her to look.

As she looked through the slot in the door, she said "Oh, sure, this from the woman who tells me not to suck my thumb!"

LMAO

lmao!!
classic

HAHAHAHA

awesome

Candle dippers have it easy; they only work on wick ends.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears thumping coming from his parents bedroom. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I wake up and hear you and Daddy making noises and when I look into your room your bouncing up and down on him."

His mother replies with, "Oh,..well...ah...well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that squishes his belly down and makes him thin again.."

The boy replies, "Duh, mom, that won't work because the lady next door just comes over every day and blows him back up.

PMSL

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting.

When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him:

"I am placed in the door and told when to jump"

"My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go"

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.

"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.

He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack".

lmao

A man sitting in the bar found that the front of his trousers was all wet.

Turning to the man on his right he asked, "Did you pour beer on my trousers?"

"Nope," came the reply.

Then, turning to the man on his left, he asked, "Did you pour beer on my trousers?"

The man also replied, "Nope."

"Then it must be an inside job," he murmured.

PMFSL! i luuuuuurve them LMAO

PMSL haha me too paula