My girlfriend and i got on great for the first 5 years, then we bought a water bed......

.....and we drifted apart.

lmfaoooooooooo



hey stell, how come ur not on the other threads mate?????

Havent got time during the day

The success of the "Wonder Bra" for under-endowed women, has encouraged the designers to come out with a bra for over-endowed women.

It's called the "Sheep Dog Bra"...
It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.

LMAO!






(aw Stella, u will have to post when ur home from work on them then *hugs*)

LMAO

Two nuns sitting on a park bench...when a male streaker runs past..........

One Nun had a stroke, but the other couldn't reach...

LMAO heard that one before

LMAO!

this was on the next page!!!!!!!!!

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.""He died of a broken neck.""A broken neck?""He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.
As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch.” “But I'm not pregnant,” she says. “Well, you're not out of the ditch yet,” he says.

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he'll do his best to work on it for them. Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage. He says, "I'm still working on it." Two years pass by and no marriage. St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it. Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.

cont
The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce. "Can you arrange it for us?" they ask. St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?!! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?"

Pmsl!

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!'' The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.'' To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ''Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop. The little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put the d ck underneath the horse instead of on top.''

i got more wanna hear em

After marrying an 18 year year old gorgeous young girl, a 90 year old geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly, a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."

"Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed. Somebody else must have shot that bear!"

"Exactly," replied the doctor!

LMAO

AWWWWWWWWWW! Lmao!