A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

HAHAHA

OH IM PMSL AT THAT ONE

Good one aint it Paula

omfg hahahaha

Thor, the god of thunder, assumes mortal form, comes down to earth on a Friday night and goes to a singles bar.

He ends up going home with a beautiful woman. They spend the weekend in hew place making passionate love, over and over again.

Come Monday morning, Thor deciding to reveal his true identity, says "I am Thor!"

The women looks at him and replies, "You're Thor! I'm tho thor I can hardly pith!"



Edited at 14:50 Tue 25/07/06 (BST)

PMSL HAHAHAHA Thats F'in funny that one Stell hahaha

L M F J-LO OFF

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, ''I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in.'' The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. ''Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,'' he laments, ''and she doesn't even know how to drive!'' The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. ''Ah, it kills me everytime I think of it,'' he chuckles. ''My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a p nis!''

racist

A guy walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on a shelf above the bartender and it said “Win this...free beer for LIFE!” The man walked up to the bartender and asked “how do I win this golden mug?” The bartender replied, “See that drunken man over there? Knock him out in one punch. See that dog? He has a toothache but noone can get the tooth out. Take the tooth out. See that old lady? She hasn't been screwed in a while so...screw her.”
The man walks over to the drunk man and knocks him out with one punch. Then, he goes over to the dog and brings him into the back alley. The bartender hears some noises and then the man comes back in with a pair of pliers and says, “Where's the old lady with a toothache?”

huh whats racist about jokes

LMAO good jokes scotty

A drunk man was in a bar and decided to go to the toilet but accidentely went into the ladies by this time he had already pulled his p enis out. And the women looked in horror and said i'm sorry this is for ladies only .. the drunk man looked down and went ... ye well so is this

There once was a man who could not keep it going with his wife. He went to the doctor who gave him some sex pills. There was a label on the bottle that said "Take one pill for a great night." The man thought that he wanted a stupendous night so he downed the whole bottle. In the morning the neighbors came over to find the man's son sitting on the porch crying. "What's wrong?" they said. The boy replied, "Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my butt hurts and dad's in the basement yelling 'here kitty"

lmao ewww!!

keep em coming stella

he he this one got me ..

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked," Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of bath." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Then there was the woman who got lost in the desert. She stumbled across a lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie. The Genie offered her the traditional three wishes.

Her first wish was to br powerful, inteligent, and loved by all.

The genie thought a moment, snapped his fingers and turned her into a man.

haha

OIIII stella u know we women rule all

OI! and if u have been here get ur but to other threads!