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Deleted User
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10:51 Mon 2 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
What do u get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
a woolie jumper
a woolie jumper
Deleted User
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16:43 Mon 2 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
So be careful at the next office Christmas party.
I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 21:35 Tue 3/07/07 (BST)
A: The ultrasound people.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
So be careful at the next office Christmas party.
I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 21:35 Tue 3/07/07 (BST)
10:50 Tue 3 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
LMAO keep em comin man u got jokes
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 21:36 Tue 3/07/07 (BST)
sunderland said:
Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
So be careful at the next office Christmas party.
I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.
A: The ultrasound people.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
So be careful at the next office Christmas party.
I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.
LMAO keep em comin man u got jokes
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 21:36 Tue 3/07/07 (BST)
10:51 Tue 3 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
dont crucify me for this i have nothing against scottish people i read it somewhere.
when mel gibson did braveheart everyone said he cant play a scotsman
look at him now... an alky and a racist
when mel gibson did braveheart everyone said he cant play a scotsman
look at him now... an alky and a racist
Deleted User
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10:59 Tue 3 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Jimmy Carr is sooooo funny, only he could be so funny saying this!
sunderland said:
Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
So be careful at the next office Christmas party.
I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.
I hate those emails where they try to sell you pen1s enhancers. I got 10 just the other day.
Eight of them from my girlfriend.
It's the two from my mum that really hurt.
A: The ultrasound people.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
So be careful at the next office Christmas party.
I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.
I hate those emails where they try to sell you pen1s enhancers. I got 10 just the other day.
Eight of them from my girlfriend.
It's the two from my mum that really hurt.
Jimmy Carr is sooooo funny, only he could be so funny saying this!
Deleted User
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11:24 Tue 3 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
IM LMAO @ THAT
sunderland said:
Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
Know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
IM LMAO @ THAT
Deleted User
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14:07 Tue 3 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Try to keep the jokes clean, if you please?
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 21:37 Tue 3/07/07 (BST)
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 21:37 Tue 3/07/07 (BST)
Deleted User
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14:26 Tue 3 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
OMG Ur bad ! *shakes head*
PMFSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
PMFSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Deleted User
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05:09 Wed 4 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
For all you golfers
A keen golfer went to his golf club and asked the pro' for some lessons to improve his handicap.
"OK, so what should I do to improve my drive?" asked the man.
"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."
Taking the advice, he took a swing, and POW!, he hit the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway.
The ecstatic man went back home telling his wife the good news about his lesson, and, his wife couldn't wait to have a lesson.
The next day, the wife went for her lesson. The pro watched her swing and said, "No, no, no,
you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asked the wife.
"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's p enis."
The wife listened carefully to the pro's advice, took a swing, and,THUMP! -- the ball skipped down the fairway about 15 feet.
"You know, that was a lot better than I expected," the pro said.
"Now, take the club out of your mouth, and, hold it in your hands !
A keen golfer went to his golf club and asked the pro' for some lessons to improve his handicap.
"OK, so what should I do to improve my drive?" asked the man.
"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."
Taking the advice, he took a swing, and POW!, he hit the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway.
The ecstatic man went back home telling his wife the good news about his lesson, and, his wife couldn't wait to have a lesson.
The next day, the wife went for her lesson. The pro watched her swing and said, "No, no, no,
you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asked the wife.
"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's p enis."
The wife listened carefully to the pro's advice, took a swing, and,THUMP! -- the ball skipped down the fairway about 15 feet.
"You know, that was a lot better than I expected," the pro said.
"Now, take the club out of your mouth, and, hold it in your hands !
Deleted User
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06:32 Wed 4 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
true true
madmiketyson said:
dont crucify me for this i have nothing against scottish people i read it somewhere.
when mel gibson did braveheart everyone said he cant play a scotsman
look at him now... an alky and a racist
when mel gibson did braveheart everyone said he cant play a scotsman
look at him now... an alky and a racist
true true
Deleted User
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16:01 Wed 4 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Mick Hucknall was arrested yesterday for have indecent relations with a rabbit. Apparently he was "holding back the ears" and "the bunny was too tight to mention"
Deleted User
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16:05 Wed 4 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Had a car crash today. Hit the back end of a car. The fella got out and he was a dwarf! He said "I'm not happy". I said "Well, which one of theam are you then?"
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16:09 Wed 4 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
I've been asked to run a marathon. At first I said no, then it was explained it was for blind and disabled people. So I thought darn it, I could win this!
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 22:23 Wed 4/07/07 (BST)
Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 22:23 Wed 4/07/07 (BST)
Deleted User
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18:21 Wed 4 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned
out
it was a bloody hoax
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel,
then
on to a little see-saw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained
for that.
out
it was a bloody hoax
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel,
then
on to a little see-saw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained
for that.
Deleted User
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18:29 Wed 4 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
There Are 3 Kinds Of People
Those Who Can Count
And Those Who Cant
Those Who Can Count
And Those Who Cant
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Good Jokes Only!!!
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