hahaha

While redecorating a church, three nuns become extremely hot and sweaty in their habits, so Mother Superior says, "Let's take our clothes off, and work naked."
The other two nuns disapprove, and ask, "What if someone sees us?"
But the Mother Superior says, "Don't worry, no one will see us, we'll just lock the door."
So the other nuns agree, strip down and return to work.
Suddenly, they hear a knock at the door, and grab their clothes in a panic.
Mother Superior runs to the door and calls through, "Who is it?"
"Blind man," a man's voice comes back.
So she opens the door, and lets in the blind man, who turns to the nuns and says, "Great t1ts, ladies, now where do you want these blinds?"

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would," she replies.
He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with two sl uts."

LMAO

PMSLLLLLLLL

Man comes home to find his 17 year old daughter,with a pink wabbit up (you know what)Her dad said what the heck you doing,she replies well you wont let me have a boyfriend so this is my substitute she said,The next night daughter comes home to find her dad with the pink wabbit up is (you know what) drinkin a can of beer,what the heck you doing she shouts,he replies havin a beer with you boyfriend

LMFAO!

PMSL Stella told me that one ..i think LMAO its good

Yep i sure did LMFAO

whats the largest city in ireland?

dublin..coz it keeps on dublin nd dublin!

The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening
as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the
fellow said, "Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me - do you
have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?"
"As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot
fetish - but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

LMAO, Stella, naughty, naughty

The bride tells her hubby,"Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I dont know anything about sex.Can you explain it to me 1st?"
"OK,darling. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'.So what we do is:put the prisoner in the prison. And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards,the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him,his bride giggles,"Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side,he grins."Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the 2nd time ,the guy reaches for his fags, but the girl, enjoying the new experience of making love,gives him a smile,"Honey,the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion,but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards,he lays back ,totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says,"Honey,the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turnin his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,OKAY

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence.

Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"

To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely pooed my pants".

Ugh lol

Liked the prison one

PMSLLLL @ THEM!

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one
day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a
change.

"I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,"
he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."

Nine hands went up.

"Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.

"Too much trouble," came the reply.

One for the girlies....

The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were
beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of
passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to
whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"
Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you
are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always
ask the same old ridiculous questions."

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
(No offence paula *MWAH*)

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said,
"Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"