PMSLLLLLLL

Just so ya don't need to go backwards.

what if ya wanted to go forwards??? oooer pmsl

Now then now then!

What happened to the irish mapmaker??

he got lost.

You really need to get this "wetting yourself" problem of yours sorted out Paula, your underwear bill must be astronomical

What Underwear??


Ohhhhhhhh the ones that YOU keep wearing ya mean?? OOPS!

HAHAHAHA



Something you aint tellin us stell??????

A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed £4.
"But I paid, don't you remember?" said the customer.
"Okay," said the bartender. "If you say you paid, you did."
The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn't keep track of his customers' bills. The second man then rushed in and ordered a beer. When it came time to pay, he pulled the same stunt.
The barkeep replied, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."
Soon the customer went into the street, saw an old friend, and told him how to get free drinks.
The man hurried into the bar and began to drink Whiskies when, suddenly, the bartender leaned over and said, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."
"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responded. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way

Ha Ha

Johnny wanted to have se x with a girl in his office,but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a £100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for £200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.


She Responded ? The B@STARD USED COINS?

pmsl good one stell

*Bows* I thank you, im here all week !

A tribe in the jungle consider farting after every meal to be a sign of power, however the chief of the tribe finds it extremely difficult to fart.

His servant goes to the doctor and say "big chief, no fart" so the doctor gives him a pill

The next day the servant goes back to the doctor and says "big chief, still no fart" so the doctor gives him a big pill the size of his hand

On the third day the servant goes back and says "big cheif still not fart" so the doctor gives a pill the size of a football

The next day the servant comes back and says to the doctor "big fart,no chief!"

There were three stranded men walking down a sandy beach on a deserted island. They walk a little ways and find a magic lamp. So they decide since they are stranded that they might as well rub it. After they rub it a genie pops out and says each one has one wish.

The first man wishes he was at home making love to his wife. POOF, he's gone

The second man wishes that he was at his favorite strip club, drinking a beer with his friends. POOF, he's gone.

The third man doesn't know what to do, so he thinks for a minute and says, "hmm, you know i really wish those two were back here to help me make my descision."

what do you call 10 le58ians in a closet?

a liquor cabinet!! hahahaha

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really naffed off.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

LMAO


Great jokes everyone lol

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry!

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hehe just been text this

alex ferguson goes into the pub after the cup final. says to the bar-man ill have a trble to drown my sorrows. no sir replies the bar-man. ok just give me a double. the bar-man replies shut up wern't you at wembley today and milan last week. we all know you can't manage your doubles and trebles

apolagies to any man u fans