Paddy and murphy are in a plane.

Paddy says to Murphy "If this plane turns over, will we fall out" ?

Murphy says " of course not Paddy, we've been friends for 20 years" !!!

LMAOOOO @ THAT

at the gates of heaven, God decides to put in a personal appearence and says, " i want the me to form 2 lines: 1 for those who were true heads of there households and the other line for those who were dominated by there women." the men lined up and in the line were the men were dominated by there wives was over 100 miles long, in the other line there was only one man.
god says, " you men should be ashamed of yourselves. i created you to be the head of your household. you have been disobedient and not fulfilled your purpose. i told yoi to be the spiritual leader i your family. of all of you, only one obeyed. learn from him. tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
the man replies, "i dont know, my wife told me to stand here."

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife
in bed with another man.
"Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what
if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?"
The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane
and kick his dog in the a ss."

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.


At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all
Led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go
Back to earth and be anyone you wish to be

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;"

And *poof* she's gone! .

The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asked.

"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't Ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper an! d start s laughing. He hands it back to her and Says.

"No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

A woman tells her friend that parnter-swopping is a rubbish idea..
"Why do you say that"? asks her friend
"Because its awful when you get your husband back" she sadly replied.

PMSL

LMAO @ this one!

PMSLLLLLL @ THEM!

Sad news today, as the death of the man who invented the HoKey - Cokey was announced.

But they sadness stopped as they started putting his left leg in the coffin.....then the fun started.

PMSLLLLLLLLLLLL HAHAHAHA

PMSL!
Stell ive got one for ya honey LMAO

Well come on Paula spit it out(sts)

Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car
broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer
if there was a place he could stay over night.
"Sure," said the farmer, "my wife died several years ago, and my two
daughters are 21 and 23 but they're off to college, and I'm all by my
self, so I have lots of room to put you up."
Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back towards
the highway, and the farmer called after him...."Didn't you hear what I
said? I have lots of room."
"I heard you," said the salesman,"but I think I'm in the wrong joke."

LMAO

This little boy walked in on his mom in the bathroom and noticed the hair on her private area. The little boy asked, "Mommy, what is that?"
She replied, "this is my washcloth."

The little boy went on his way.

One evening the woman and her husband were beginning to make love and he asked her to do something different and shave her hair off. She agreed.

A week or so after that the little boy had walked in on his mother again but this time she didn't have any hair. So the little boy asked with concern, "Mommy, what happen to your washcloth?"

She replied, "I lost it."

Later that day the little boy came running up to his mom and said, "Mommy, I found your washcloth."

She replied confused, "Where did you find it?"

He told her that the lady next door was washing Daddy's face with it!

PMSLLLLLLLLL

A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the
bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the other
one on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does the
same thing. The third time the bartender asks him what's
going on. "Why are you pouring that drink on your hand"? The
man smiles at him, winks and says "I'm trying to get my date
drunk."