HAHHAHHAHH Love that one HAHHAAHHAHA

lol Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enought that he just gave away a huge portfolio. The next guy said, I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari. The third guy says, i'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.
Just as the third guy fininshes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, What are you guys talking about?'
Just about how good our sons are doing, the three men replied. Well, my son is doing very well, says the fourth man,
He's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home.

Edited at 13:05 Sat 5/05/07 (BST)

The first guy said, ''''Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.''''

The second guy said, ''''Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.''''

The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.''''

Then the first guy said, ''''No -- you guys don''t understand! Chunks is my dog!"

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

A little girl and her mother were out and about.
Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"
The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."
The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"
Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."
The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."
The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.
The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school.

Cont.....

It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.

The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."

A man as a fifty pound not tattoed on his erm.His wife says what have you done that for,He says the next time you feel like blowin fifty Quid, you want have to go out to do it

LMAO

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

- I'd have to say it was the rooster!

LMAO

LMAO

A rather senile old lady went to her doctor complaining of draining and a feeling of fullness in her ear. After the examination, the doctor initiated a conversation that went as follows:

D: Why madam, I think you have a suppository in your ear.
L: ?eh?
D: Madam - You have a SUPPOSITORY in your EAR!
L: ??EH??
D: (shouting) --IN YOUR EAR! -- A SUPPOSITORY!!!
L: Oh, thank Goodness - now I know where I put my hearing aid....

ARGH! PMSL

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.

Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he craps on you."

ARGHHHHH! STELL! PMSLLLLLLLLL

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife from the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."

"What is she doing?" the pal asks.

"Waiting for me to get home."

Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was
becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing
doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"