Yeah me and wifey was ROFL!

PARDON?

LMAO...........

Just a quickie that tickled me earlier .....

Two goldfish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says "Do you
know how to drive this thing?"

That had me in stitches

PMFSL AT THAT Its them short witty ones that i like hehe

A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.

After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"

"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much," the passenger says.

"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie.

"Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse."

~Domi~

Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."

~Domi~

lol, I like that one

*giggles*

What's the difference between meat and fish?












If you beat your fish, it'll die.

"This is a passenger announcement. The train on platform one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve has come in sideways."

~Domi~

LMAO @ that

HAHAHAHAHAH

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The
doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.

The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is
three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's
three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did
you get that?"

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.



Edited at 17:16 Sun 8/04/07 (BST)

When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?



a dentist

A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?





a wedding ring

Haha nice jokes.

There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering
the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The
priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The young woman said,
"Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Take seven lemons and
squeeze them into a glass and then drink it."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest said "NO, but it will wipe the smile off of your face."

If women don't fool around, and men do fool around, who are the men fooling around with?

??????? Wrong thread me thinks stell