Oh god, Paula's on a "happy" path! (As opposed to a "war" path!)

A Blonde was driving down the road, and spotted another
Blonde in the middle of a cornfield rowing a boat. She stopped the car, got out
and went to the shoulder of the road, and yelled, "You know, it's blondes like
you that give blondes a bad name!, and if I could swim I would come out there
and kick your a ss!"

NO! am never on the war path..really am not hahah..


Gud Joke Stellssssssssss lol

A man was lying nude on the beach. A girl starts playing tabla on his butts.
Man asks what are you doing?
Girl says: I am playing tabla
Man turns over and says can you play FLUTE.

PMFSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the
electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and
they weren't mine."

His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber,
the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his
friends look at him with utter disbelief.

"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

LMFAO

PMSL!!!!!!

"Hi & welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you're obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you're co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, & 6.
If you're paranoid, we know who you are & what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you're delusional, press 7 & your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you're schizophrenic, listen carefully & a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you're manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you're dyslexic, press 6969696969.

...

If you have amnesia, press 8 & state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, & your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

Edited at 06:25 Sun 25/03/07 (BST)

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.

The bartender promptly serves up a beer.

"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.

"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

Woooooooooooooo
OMG OMG Stella, u need to ask Reasty aka GY casual to tell u his joke....he cant post it here but its well funny..PMSL hes as funny as you hahahahahah

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad
news and good
news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and
will need help
eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."


lmao

Your on form today stella!

And domi, my mate has got that on his voicemail, does my head in! lmao!

PMSLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Stells well good when hes ON TOP form

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her
life, so she placed a personal ad that read:

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE
FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:

1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was
ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail.
None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to
find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat.
Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your
dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no
legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in
bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Paddy and his mate walked past two man, one of the men was being dangled over a brigde by his legs and evreynow and then being lifted up with fish in his hands.

Paddy and his friend thought this was a great idea and so decided to do it themselves..but after an hour Paddy shouted down to his friend who he was dangling over the bridge and said " you got any fish mate"

His friend replied "No" "But theres a train coming"

One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his
apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said,
"Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks
his door."

So the guy says, "Well, give me some examples."

So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if
a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, that
means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me.

Then she said, "The second way is if a man fumbles around and
can't seem to find the hole, that means he is inexperienced and
that isn't for me either."

Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"

To which grinned and he replied, "Well, first before I do anything
else, I lick the lock."

WOOOOOOOOOO hahahahahahaahhhaa Good on Stell

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.