IM PMSLLLLLLLLLLLL

Three ministers, a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Southern Baptist, were with their wives on a cruise.
A Huge wave came up and swamped the ship.
They all drowned and, the next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.
First in line was the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook His head sadly and said, "I can't let you in. You were moral and upright, but you loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
St. Peter waved sadly, and poof ,....Down the chute to the "Other
Place",they went.
Then came the Methodist. "Sorry, can't let you in either," said Saint Peter. "You abstained from liquor and dancing and cards, but you loved food too much. You loved food so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
Sadly, St. Peter waved again, and Down the chute went the Methodists.
The Southern Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously
"...This ain't lookin' too good, F anny ""

PMFSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Here is a story about a famous food critic's recent visit to Europe last summer. He had a delightful time sampling the cuisine in Italy, France and Germany, but he made the mistake of stopping off in London on the way home.

Needless to say, he found English food bland and overcooked. However, one day he had a great meal of fish & chips at a London pub. He asked the manager of the pub if he could have the recipe for the fish and chips.

The manager confessed that he bought his fish and chips from a nearby monastery, and so our critic would have to get the recipe from one of the brothers.

So he quickly ran down the street to the monastery and knocked on the door. When one of the brothers came to the door, he asked him if he were the "Fish Friar." The brother repiled, "Nope, I'm the Chip Monk!"

what as a 3 pring plug and man united got in common??



There both useluss in europe!

1st bloke: "I think I've got bird flu"

2nd bloke: "How do you know?"

1st bloke: "I'm talking crap and I can't reverse"

lol

haa!

Brill joke Stella

GRRRRRR lmaooo

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"


"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."


"Social Security sex?"


"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

PMFSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."


"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

OMFG! lmaooooo i love it

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a
wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our
jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I
want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all
night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!",
they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the
hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

LMAO GO WIFEYYYYYYYYYY hahah





LOG IN! pweeze

Two young couples marry the same day and, being all friends, leave together for their honeymoon to stay at the same hotel in Venice, door to door.

The next morning, the two brand new husbands step out on their balconies to have a breath of fresh air.

"So? How did it go last night? C'mon, tell me! How's your wife?" "Uhh, fine I guess, she's lying on the bed smoking." "Jesus! My wife just got a bit sore..."

lmao m8 if i find my mobile charger ill have loads

this is 1 my m8 told me:::...,,,;;;
2 whales overturn a boat and all the crew where frantic in the sea, 1 whale turns to the other and says "shall we swallow them?" to which the second whale says " I might do blow jobs but i dont swallow seamen"