Good Jokes Only!!!
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Deleted User
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09:41 Mon 26 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
two blondes 1 on each side of a river
1st blond says: how do i get on the other side
2nd blond says: u r on the other side
child says: mum, can i wear a bra now im sixteen?
mum: no liam
Edited at 15:41 Mon 26/02/07 (GMT)
1st blond says: how do i get on the other side
2nd blond says: u r on the other side
child says: mum, can i wear a bra now im sixteen?
mum: no liam
Edited at 15:41 Mon 26/02/07 (GMT)
Deleted User
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10:01 Mon 26 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
Q. What do a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
A. A wet nose.
A. A wet nose.
Deleted User
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10:32 Mon 26 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
Q. What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo
A. Bingo
Deleted User
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12:46 Mon 26 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
Q. What happens when you kiss a canary?
A. You get chirpees, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
A. You get chirpees, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
Deleted User
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14:19 Mon 26 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
Oh this is a good one lmfao.......
Paddy goes to buy a train ticket to France, the cashier says "Eurostar Paddy"?
Paddy said "I wouldn't go that far, I've been on X Factor , but i'm no fcuking Elvis !!"
Paddy goes to buy a train ticket to France, the cashier says "Eurostar Paddy"?
Paddy said "I wouldn't go that far, I've been on X Factor , but i'm no fcuking Elvis !!"
14:38 Mon 26 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
Yaaaaar!!!
stellaman said:
The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at
thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope
out of the corner of her mouth, "I bet you a tenner that I can make
every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand."
The Pope says, "No way. You can't do that."
The Queen says, "Watch this."
So the Queen waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes
crazy, waving their little plastic Union Jacks on sticks and cheering,
basically going ballistic.
So the Pope is standing there thinking, "Uh oh, what am I going to do?
I never thought she'd be able to do it."
So he thinks to himself for a minute and then he turns to her and says,
"I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just
now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head."
The Queen goes, "No way, it can't be done."
So the Pope headbutts her.
thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope
out of the corner of her mouth, "I bet you a tenner that I can make
every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand."
The Pope says, "No way. You can't do that."
The Queen says, "Watch this."
So the Queen waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes
crazy, waving their little plastic Union Jacks on sticks and cheering,
basically going ballistic.
So the Pope is standing there thinking, "Uh oh, what am I going to do?
I never thought she'd be able to do it."
So he thinks to himself for a minute and then he turns to her and says,
"I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just
now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head."
The Queen goes, "No way, it can't be done."
So the Pope headbutts her.
Yaaaaar!!!
14:40 Mon 26 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
LMAO Where do you get em from ?
Experience!!!!
i_am_the_man said:
stellaman said:
A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,
"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- If 27 whiskeys won't take away the taste
I don't think that another one will!"
"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- If 27 whiskeys won't take away the taste
I don't think that another one will!"
LMAO Where do you get em from ?
Experience!!!!
Deleted User
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04:59 Tue 27 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
I LOVE THAT! Pmfslllllll
stellaman said:
Oh this is a good one lmfao.......
Paddy goes to buy a train ticket to France, the cashier says "Eurostar Paddy"?
Paddy said "I wouldn't go that far, I've been on X Factor , but i'm no fcuking Elvis !!"
Paddy goes to buy a train ticket to France, the cashier says "Eurostar Paddy"?
Paddy said "I wouldn't go that far, I've been on X Factor , but i'm no fcuking Elvis !!"
I LOVE THAT! Pmfslllllll
Deleted User
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09:35 Tue 27 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
emergency operator asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her
husband!"
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
emergency operator asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her
husband!"
Deleted User
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13:29 Tue 27 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way.
"Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?" "Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"
He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?"
"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."
cont........
"Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?" "Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"
He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?"
"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."
cont........
Deleted User
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13:29 Tue 27 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.
"What's wrong?!" she cries out.
"Take your thumb off the end!!"
"What's wrong?!" she cries out.
"Take your thumb off the end!!"
Deleted User
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15:54 Tue 27 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"
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09:53 Wed 28 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
I said to the girlfriend " I never want be be in a vegative state, dependant on a machine, and being fed fluids though a bottle", i said " if that ever happens, pull the plug".
So she unplugged the telly and threw my lager out !!!
So she unplugged the telly and threw my lager out !!!
Deleted User
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11:54 Wed 28 Feb 07 (GMT) [Link]
A woman went to the bar with a black eye.
"How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender.
"From my husband," she replied.
"But I thought he was out of town?" he asked.
"So did I!" she said.
"How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender.
"From my husband," she replied.
"But I thought he was out of town?" he asked.
"So did I!" she said.
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Good Jokes Only!!!
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