Good Jokes Only!!!
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13:14 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)
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A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son, they're making a puppy." The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he wentfrom his bed to get a
glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionanle little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother. "The little boy
replied ,"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionanle little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother. "The little boy
replied ,"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
Deleted User
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04:45 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers. The guy advises: "Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that's 150, you'll get a 25% discount !" The nuns look at each other, and after a prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other:
"We could eat the 30, I suppose."
"We could eat the 30, I suppose."
05:53 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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Lol that crack's me up!!
That reminds me i'm having egg for dinna!!
That reminds me i'm having egg for dinna!!
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08:16 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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This is a classic, had me ROFL
God appears to man, and says, "if he wants to go to heaven, hell ave 2 give up fags, drink & sex".
A week later he re appears & asks him "hows it goin"?.
The man says, "fags and drink were easy enuff, but when my wife bent over the freezer to get the meat out, i had 2 give her one there and then".
God said "they do NOT like that sort of thing in heaven".
Man said "they didnt like it much in Asda either" !!
Edited at 14:16 Sun 28/01/07 (GMT)
God appears to man, and says, "if he wants to go to heaven, hell ave 2 give up fags, drink & sex".
A week later he re appears & asks him "hows it goin"?.
The man says, "fags and drink were easy enuff, but when my wife bent over the freezer to get the meat out, i had 2 give her one there and then".
God said "they do NOT like that sort of thing in heaven".
Man said "they didnt like it much in Asda either" !!
Edited at 14:16 Sun 28/01/07 (GMT)
Deleted User
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08:39 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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Tom thumb Cinderella and Quasimodo were talking Tom said i bet im the smallest person in the world, Cinderella said i bet im the prettiest and quazi said i bet im the ugliest.
Tom said lets visit the world records and find out. First Tom came out and said yep im the smallest, then Cinderella came out and said yep iim the prettiest and last Quazi came out and said who the fcuk is Claire!!!
haha had me pi$$in meself lmao
Tom said lets visit the world records and find out. First Tom came out and said yep im the smallest, then Cinderella came out and said yep iim the prettiest and last Quazi came out and said who the fcuk is Claire!!!
haha had me pi$$in meself lmao
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08:53 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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B4 any 1 complains im from Liverpool myself...
A young iraqi lad signs for liverpool and on his debut in a merseyside derby scores a hat trick and gets carried off shoulder high...All excited he rings home to tell his mum the good news and asks how family are. "How are we?" says his mum "the house has been bombed your dads been shot your sister r aped & ive been mugged and robbed at gunpoint...WHY THE FCUK DID U BRING US TO LIVERPOOL?"
A young iraqi lad signs for liverpool and on his debut in a merseyside derby scores a hat trick and gets carried off shoulder high...All excited he rings home to tell his mum the good news and asks how family are. "How are we?" says his mum "the house has been bombed your dads been shot your sister r aped & ive been mugged and robbed at gunpoint...WHY THE FCUK DID U BRING US TO LIVERPOOL?"
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08:59 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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Q. How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
A. 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 a ss, 1 p ussy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
A. 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 a ss, 1 p ussy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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09:02 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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American girl French girl and African girl are on a plane about to crash. So American girl puts her make up on and says they will save the prettiest first.
French girl takes her top off and says they will save the one with biggest breasts first.
African girl gets her va*ina out and says nope...they always look for the black box first!
French girl takes her top off and says they will save the one with biggest breasts first.
African girl gets her va*ina out and says nope...they always look for the black box first!
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09:03 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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LOL a jokes fest
Q. What do women and police cars have in common?
A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Q. What do women and police cars have in common?
A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
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09:09 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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i lay upon the river bank my hands were in a quiver,
i undid her suspender belt her leg fell in the river!
a poem by Paul Macartney
i undid her suspender belt her leg fell in the river!
a poem by Paul Macartney
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10:36 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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Why haven't NASA send a woman to the moon yet?
Because it does not need to be cleaned!
Because it does not need to be cleaned!
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13:34 Sun 28 Jan 07 (GMT)
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Just in case anyone missed it........im stil LMFAO at this
God appears to man, and says, "if he wants to go to heaven, hell ave 2 give up fags, drink & sex".
A week later he re appears & asks him "hows it goin"?.
The man says, "fags and drink were easy enuff, but when my wife bent over the freezer to get the meat out, i had 2 give her one there and then".
God said "they do NOT like that sort of thing in heaven".
Man said "they didnt like it much in Asda either" !!
God appears to man, and says, "if he wants to go to heaven, hell ave 2 give up fags, drink & sex".
A week later he re appears & asks him "hows it goin"?.
The man says, "fags and drink were easy enuff, but when my wife bent over the freezer to get the meat out, i had 2 give her one there and then".
God said "they do NOT like that sort of thing in heaven".
Man said "they didnt like it much in Asda either" !!
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Good Jokes Only!!!
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