PMSL @ that too stell!!!

ME TOO! LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO
And the one Claire sed id like! hahhah Great guys keep it up x

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl
approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play
house?"
He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts."
"Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I
have no idea what that means."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the
husband."

Jade Goody has apparently decided to change her name and adopth the Muslim religion to show she isnt racist she now wants to be known as..."Yaffat Fook"

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test - ignore

One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle.
The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again.
He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."

Hahaha!!!

I've just pinched this one off snooker, made me laugh!


A woman goes to the pet shop and sees a parrot for sale for £50, as she gets her purse out to pay for it, the seller says "i must warn you that this parrot used to be the pet at the local brothel". Unphased she says "its ok i will still buy it" off she trots home and takes the blanket off the cage and sticks him in the corner of the room, the parrot looks round and says "oooh new brothel, new madam", she thinks nothing of it until her kids come home from school, the parrot then goes "oooh new brothel, new madam, new girls!", the mother gets a bit embarassed but lets it slide until her husband comes home from work, the parrot says "oooh new brothel, new madam, new girls and the same old faces!!! hello Ray long time no see!!!!"

haha love it miss piggy

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks,

"Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

A man walks into a bar and he's really angry. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, ?All lawyers are a55holes.?
A man sitting in the corner shouts, ?I take offense to that!?

The angry guy asks him, ?Why? Are you a lawyer??

He replies, ?No, I'm an a55hole.?

Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant?

She blew them both...

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if
there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes
back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty.

"Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

rofl @ that 1 stell

Lmao!!!

"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?"

"I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract',"
was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."

"May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just
tell them straight out that they're going to die."

PMSL

Two cows were talking in the field one day.

First Cow: Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?
Second Cow: Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?