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jsg
jsg
Posts: 1,572
04:41 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
Stell, wheres ur morning joke hun
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07:38 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
Stellaaaaaa POST SOME JOKES!!!
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08:20 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fcuking potatoes!"
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08:30 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
PMSL
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10:53 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water. One of the men picked it up and rubbed it, causing a genie to explode from the lamp. Unfortunately, it was a very low-level genie and could only grant one wish. The men thought for a few minutes and then wished for the entire lake to be made of the best beer in the world.

With a poof! the wish was granted. All of a sudden, one of the men got really angry.

"Dammit! Now we have to p1ss in the boat!"
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11:25 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
Little Johnny comes home from school, puts his bag on the table and tugs at his mum's apron.

Mum, he says, I learn't a new word in school today.

Thats good, his mum says, what is it?

Master-bation, he replies.

My god thats a mouthfull! she says

No, he says, Thats a blow job!!
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11:37 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
LMAO welcome to jokes mate, im the only one keeping this thread alive
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11:40 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."
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12:34 Fri 26 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
LMAO!! WOOOOOO!!! MORE MORE!!
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04:48 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
2 nuns driving in a car at night, suddenly stop when the traffic lights turn red.
Suddenly a vampire jumps on the bonnet of the car and starts hissing at them.

Scared the younger nun turns to the other and says " Whatever shall we do!!"

The older and wiser nun simply says " "Control yourself sister, just wind down your window and show the vampire your cross."

So the younger nun winds down the window and says" F*ck off you t*sser!!"





Edited at 10:50 Sat 27/01/07 (GMT)
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06:41 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
lol

What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame?

Virgin on the ridiculous.
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06:53 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to
find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles.

A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells
her, "I love a woman that does aerobics."

The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!"

The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get
your leg up so high?"
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09:01 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
PMFSL @ THAT ONE!!
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09:33 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
Jade Goody has apparently decided to change her name and adopt the muslim faith, to prove she's not racist.
From now on she wants to be known as "Yaffat Fouka"
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09:42 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
Hahaha lmao !!
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11:16 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
PMSLLLLLL i love em all
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12:34 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
Q: Why was the blonde stareing in the refrigerator?

A: Because The orange Juice carton said "concentrate"
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12:40 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. "What's
your name?" she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers "My
name's Huey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles." She
goes up to the second dog and asks "What's your name?" The dog replies "My
name's Duey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles." She
turns to the third dog and says "I suppose you're going to tell me your
names Luey and you're having a great day going in and out of puddles." The
dog replies "No, I'm having a fcuking miserable day and my name is
Puddles."
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12:45 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
....That is so totally wrong.

lol but funny in a weird kind of way
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12:56 Sat 27 Jan 07 (GMT)  [Link]  
LMAO at them al...joey ur are good..welcome to jokes! ya gotta give us one a day at least tho!
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