Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

LMAO

that's legendary

I thank you

A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road.
They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car. She says, "Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
Her husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm."
"She asks, What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."

way to let the team down

And which team is this then??

lol. The joke wasn't bad, made me ... Just figured, giving the nature of the joke + how strict the mod's are on this site, they'd prob's remove it which they havn't so i take it back, nice joke

Three old men were sitting on a park bench comparing notes on the problems of growing old. The first said he couldn't remember the last time he had a good bowel movement. The second one said his problem was more with his bladder and prostate. The third old man laughed and said he must be the lucky one.

"Every morning at seven I pee, and then at eight I have a good dump," he told them. " I just wish I could wake up before nine."

how do u get they msn hingy's?
good jokes

A guy goes into a bar and orders up thirty whiskies.

The dazed barman does so and watches in amazement as the guy gulps them down one after the other

"You seem in a hurry!" says the barman

"So would you be if you had what I have."

"Oh, what do you have."

The man finshes the last one off and says:

"27 pence"

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Hahahah i love that one!!!

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee
machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells
nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a
supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment
grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks:
"What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair
smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget...."

Pmsl @ that!!

"Pardon me, lady", said the man trying to get back to his seat in the darkened movie theater, "but did I step on your toes a few minutes ago?"
"You certainly did!!", said the woman in the aisle seat.
"Good, then I'm in the right row!" the man said as he went back to his seat.

How did he get the moving smiley?

Edited at 19:41 Thu 11/01/07 (GMT)

they found the ipswich murderer.

while in prison someone got asked if they wanted some chocolate cake with his cup of coffee. he replied "no, but i could murder a tart".

Good jokes ppl

Q: What do bees say on a hot day?
A: Swarm isn't it?