PMSL...






(See Gen Stell)

One for miss piggy......

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my p enis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off.

Edited at 15:51 Fri 12/01/07 (GMT)

pmsl

LMFAO!!!! Love it stella...thnx hun *kisses*

The Perfect Man

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

Hahahah!! woooooo! More More!

Knock Knock,
Whose there?
Wooden Shoe.
Wooden Shoe who?
Wooden Shoe like to know....

Easy

PMSL AT THEM

how about an original joke...

a man walks into a bar with an aligator under his arm. he stands on the bar stool and yells "I BET ANYONE IN HERE ONE DRINK THAT I CAN PUT MY GENITALS IN THIS ALIGATORS MOUTH, LET HIM CLOSE HIS MOUTH FOR A MINUTE AND REMOVE THEM UNSCAVED."

After some mumbling about five blokes throw £2 onto the bar.

The man whips out his tool and rests it gently in the aligators mouth. The aligator cracks it's mouth down like a vice. After a minute the man grabs a bottle and smashes it over the aligators head. He then removes his tool completely unsaved.

"NOW I OFFER DOUBLE OR QUITS TO ANYONE WHO CAN DO THAT THEMSELVES" the man shouts.

After a short wait a man at the back of the bar shouts out. "ILL LET YOU DO IT MATE JUST DONT HIT ME WITH A BOTTLE WHEN I NEED TO OPEN MY MOUTH."

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day,she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"

4 get tht post i was tryin someting

Edited at 12:24 Sat 13/01/07 (GMT)

LUV THIS THREAD TOO
Keep them coming..(STS)

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"

Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

come on ppl jokes jokes jokes, this was nearly on page 3 !!

LMAO @ that one Stell

Q: What's E.T. short for?
A: Cos his legs aren't very long.

Q : What's kermit the Frog's middle name?

A : "THE"

One day a genie appeared to a California man and offered to grant him one wish.

the man said: "I wish you'd build a bridge from here to Hawaii so I could drive there anytime"
The genie frowned "I don't know. It sounds like quite an undertaking, he said. "Just think of the logistics. The supports required reaching the bottom of the ocean, the concrete, and the steel! Why don't you pick something else?"

The man thought for a while and then said, "Okay, I wish for a complete understanding of women- what they are thinking, why they cry. I wish I knew how to make a woman truly happy".

The genie was silent for a minute, then said


"So how many lanes did you want on that bridge?"

Edited at 10:23 Mon 15/01/07 (GMT)

lmao Harsh but Fair