lmao sounds like colin to me lol x x

There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.

One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up.

Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with the elf, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and one lived.
Who died and who lived?



The perfect woman, because the perfect man and elves aren't real.

hah thats quite good sucks to be a man in times like these because i can never think of anything to say that favours us!

Ahem *coughs*.........I beg to Differ!!

*Awaits backlash*

Edited at 21:08 Thu 7/08/08 (BST)

A farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm & says:

This is the pig i have to sleep with when you're not up for sex!

His wife says: I think you'l find thats a sheep!

Farmer says: I think you'l find i was talking to the sheep

Post removed by forum moderator

Post removed by forum moderator

Post removed by forum moderator

Welsh man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The welsh man shouts:

Paid a yfed y dwr mae'r gwarteg yn cachi yn y dwr!
(don't drink the water its full of cow muck!)

The man Shouts back: I'm foreign speak English i don't understand you!!

The Welsh man replies:

Use both hands you'l get more in!!

Scientists have found that many women develop DYSONS disease after a few years of marriage.....

They make a continuous whining noise and don't suck anymore

IM PMSLLLLLLLLLLLLL @ Them!!!

Yeah i did think they were pretty close to the bone, thanks mysterious mod i think i'll ask next time

I saw them 1st tho and i was lmao Told ya they wud get edited didnt i? LOL

yeees lol I wonder if it tickled the mod before they were deemed inappropriate??

Mick asks Paddy
"why dont you close your windows next time you and your wife are making love? you had all the street watching and laughing at you last night"
Paddy replies
" haha well the jokes on them, i wasnt at home last night"

a londoner a brummie and a scouser all sat watching a pole dancer at a night club
the londoner gets £30 out and sticks it on her right buttock
the brummie gets £20 and sticks it on her left buttock
the scouser gets his stolen credit card out and swipes it between her buttocks and gets £50 cash back

Edited at 23:48 Sun 10/08/08 (BST)

This ones rather toned down compared to what you're used to from me...


Two mexicans lost in a desert, thirsty & starving... They see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon, smoked... crispy... juicy... bacon!

HEY PEPE,! Shouts the first Mexican,
Ees a bacon tree, we are saved!!

Then he runs to the tree. As he gets within 5ft of it, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets. 2nd Mexican shouts

PEPE! what happened???

With his last breath, Pepe shouts, Run amigo, ees not a bacon tree..... ees a Ham bush!!










Edited at 19:45 Tue 12/08/08 (BST)

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

i visited a doctor about some wind problem


he gave me a kite

i've said this before but my all time favourite joke has to be:

2 fish in a tank, one says to the other...

how do we drive this thing?