........But about nine months later , Jim got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' said Bob

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes, 'Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did' Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?.. now keep that smile for the rest of the day.)

I rear-ended a car this morning (actually just bumped him).
So there we are alongside the road and slowly the other driver gets out of the car.
Well, I couldn?t believe it. The other driver was a DWARF.
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So I looked down at him and said, "OK, so which one are you then?"



. . . and that's when the fight started.


sorry sorry i know its not PC but i couldnt help it

There was this bloke who was rushed to hospital with a toy horse stuck up his J~lo.

Doctors say hes now in a stable condition!

LMAO @ THAT ^^^^^^^

*slaps forehead and rolls eyes*

"doctor doctor i got a steering wheel down my pants"
"whats it doing down there?"
"i duno but it driving me nuts"


hehe

Bloke talking to his mate says "Things are really bad at home, She's sick of me, Rugby, Football, Cricket...always on telly". "Anyway to patch things up i booked a table for 2 last night at 8pm".
"By 9 o'clock things were 10 times worse!! She hadn't potted a single bloody ball" !!

that was bad enough from a 12 year old on britains got talent, but to repeat it anywhere must be shear desperation lol


Fat bloke goes to see his doctor
Doctor doctor have you got anything to keep my stomach in?
The doctor gives him a wheelbarrow

some1 add some more

What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys watching a football game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends. (LMAO)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

no jokes about men being stupid we never r












































much one blonde to another have u ever read shakespeare
no, who wrote it?

Q: WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED?
A: Who cares?



__________________________________________________

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once
Upon A Time?"
And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin
with 'If Elected I promise...'"

Edited at 17:16 Fri 4/07/08 (BST)

HA!


How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

OMG im PMSLLLLLLLLL

What does a chicken say in a library?

book, Book, Book, book, Book.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What does a Frog say in a library?

Readit, Read it, read it, read it







(Am sorry i have just pmsllllllll at those)

what do you call a sheep tied to a lampost in cardiff?
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a leisure centre

PMSL

LMAOOOOOOOOO @ Tids

LMAO

I was shopping at our local supermarket.
When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of
me.
As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her,
"Paper or plastic?"
"It doesn't matter," she replied, "I'm bisacksual."