Lmao u nutta!

An American was waiting on a English street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist.
"A bit airy, isn't it?" remarked the American.
Hearing this, the English girl replied indignantly,
"'heck yes! What did you expect - feathers?!"

LMAO



Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They <removed> themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.

"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.

"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.

"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."

PMSLLLLLL Good one bab

I went into B n Q today and this guy in a black shirt and orange apron asked me if I wanted decking..fortunatley I got the first punch in and sorted the old sod out

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and says, "A beer for me, and one for the giraffe, please." So they proceed to drink. Then: "...a shot for me and one for the giraffe, too" And they keep drinking all evening.
Finally the giraffe passes out on the floor of the bar. The guy pays the tab and gets up to leave. The bartender shouts out, "Hey! You're not going to leave that lying on the floor, are you?"
The guy replies "That's not a lion... it's a giraffe."

Good one Stell

its been rumoured that all josef fritzl fed his kids for 24 years was toast, bloody good job they were INTERBRED!!

How many of the lost cast does it take to change a lightbulb?..........................................................................................

1, but it takes 20 episodes

whats red and not there??




that tomato on your computer desk!!!

be honest how many of you looked???????

lmao

Two ariels meet on a roof ...fall in love... n get married

The wedding was rubbish but the Reception was brilliant

Why do Elephants have Four feet?

Cos they'd look daft with 6 inches!!

A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it.
When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist.
The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?"
The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do."
The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"
The pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "Perhaps, if you took five or six pills at once you might."

why did teh chicken cross the road??

To get to the other side!! lol

Knock Knock...........

Is that the Avon Lady ? I know my door bells knackered!!

NO! Just wanted to say Knock Knock

Strange Behaviour i must say

A roock band is travelling along the country lanes to its next gig when they have a road accident,the drummer is hurled through the window and is badly injured,The air ambulance comes and takes him to hospital where he has to have a major operation.
When he regains concoiusness the consultant surgeon tells him that there is good news and bad news
'Whats the bad news?' he asks
The surgeon replies, 'we have had to remove a 3rd of your brain and you will never be able to play the drums again'
Deeply upset the drummer then asks, 'So, whats the good news?'
The surgeon replies. 'Well, me and my colleagues felt so sorry for you, we had a whip round and bought you a guitar'

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"

The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."

The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."