Good Jokes Only 2

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Deleted User
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14:16 Thu 3 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom
approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on
their honeymoon. The clerk asked the man if he wanted the bridal.
"No," he said, "I don't believe I'll need it. I'll just grab onto her
ears and hold on 'til she gets used to it."
Deleted User
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13:58 Fri 4 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a
ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
"What would you like to do next?" he asked. "I wanna be weighed," she
said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. "One-twelve,"
said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right. Next they rode the
roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy,
then he asked what else she would like to do. "I wanna be weighed," she
said. I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man,
and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.
The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked,
"What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?" "Wousy," said
the girl.

OMG lmaooooooo
justsumgirl
justsumgirl
Posts: 38,214
14:03 Fri 4 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO @ THAT!
Deleted User
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14:32 Fri 4 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, "Bananas! 50 pence each or three for a pound!"

The girls stop and look at each other. "Well I suppose we could always eat the third one!"















(Or give it to Jill LMAOOOOOOOO)
justsumgirl
justsumgirl
Posts: 38,214
15:06 Fri 4 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
HA!
Deleted User
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09:18 Wed 9 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
Posted Image

Edited at 14:47 Wed 9/04/08 (BST)
Deleted User
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11:07 Wed 9 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
It seems that Mary Poppins has moved to California. Yep,
she has started a business telling people's fortunes. But, she
doesn't read palms or tea leaves, she smells one's breath.
The sign outside reads:

"Super California Mystic Expert At Halitosis"

Edited at 16:08 Wed 9/04/08 (BST)
justsumgirl
justsumgirl
Posts: 38,214
11:28 Wed 9 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
LMAO
Tids im pmsl @ that
Deleted User
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07:29 Sun 13 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road
strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a
cloud of feathers.

Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A
farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed
your rooster, please allow me to replace him."

"Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."
justsumgirl
justsumgirl
Posts: 38,214
09:06 Sun 13 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
PMSL
Deleted User
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20:54 Sun 13 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.



Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied.



'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'

And they say blondes are dumb...


lol i got that sent to me not long ago (paula your safe lol)

also dont shoot the messenger about the blonde part. all part of the joke
Deleted User
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08:02 Tue 15 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife

'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your J-LO!!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a
comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.

'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little dust cloud
appeared when he shook them out.

'Debbie!' he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder
in my underwear?'

'It's not talcum powder', she says...... 'It's 'Miracle Grow!!'

Edited at 13:03 Tue 15/04/08 (BST)
justsumgirl
justsumgirl
Posts: 38,214
07:36 Wed 16 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
LMAO @ Them..

Ha Lisa Thanks
Deleted User
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08:00 Wed 16 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
A Market Trader is shouting..
'Blow up dolls only £20'
A man approaches him and complains.....
'Oi Mate, I got this from you and it went down on me the other day'

Market trader....'Blow up dolls £80'
Deleted User
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11:49 Wed 16 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
A wife falls seriously ill and her husband has to save her life by donating blood for her transfusion. A few weeks after she recovers and gets out of hospital they go through a nasty divorce. The husband asks for his blood back and the wife throws a used tampon at him.. saying "OK be like that ... I'll pay you back in monthly installments!!!"
Deleted User
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08:37 Thu 17 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button???


Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.
justsumgirl
justsumgirl
Posts: 38,214
08:41 Thu 17 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Now now boys! Keep them clean!
Deleted User
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08:47 Thu 17 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
justsumgirl said:
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Now now boys! Keep them clean!


I have a shower every day for christ sake... what more do you want!!
Deleted User
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08:57 Thu 17 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
stellaman said:
Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button???


Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.


Oi you oh hang on you said 'boys' that definantly doesnt involve me lol

yeah Paula....i shower every month regardless of me needing one or not....so shut yer noise

Edited at 13:57 Thu 17/04/08 (BST)
Deleted User
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08:58 Thu 17 Apr 08 (BST)  [Link]  
The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an
examination.
"Mrs. Brown," he said, "I have some good news for you."
The woman said, "I'm glad of that doctor, but I'm Miss Brown,"
"Miss Brown," said the doctor without changing expression, "I have bad
news for you."
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Good Jokes Only 2

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