There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of
control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a
while, one of the first two turned to the third and sez "Well... what
about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife ?"

"Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her
hands and knees." he bragged and took another sip of beer.

His friends were amazed ! "What happened then ?" they asked, almost in
unison.

"Well, then she said, 'Get the hell out from under that bed and fight
like a man !' " he admitted.

Lmao! *Shakes fist in the air* Women power!!!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts!

hahahaha

For shame! Keep them nice, please!

Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 16:01 Wed 26/03/08 (GMT)

Two blonde chicks were building a house together. One blonde was cutting the wood and the other was on a ladder nailing. Before hammering in a nail; the blonde on the ladder would reach into her nail pouch, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to hammer it into the wood.

The other blonde, confused, watched her do this and after she could take it no longer yelled up, "Why the %@#& are you throwing some of the nails away?! "Whoa! Don't yell!" the blonde on the ladder explained, "If it's pointed toward me when I pull it out of my pouch, I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it safely! Duh!"
The 2nd blonde became irate at this point and started to call her all kinds of names, referencing how stupid she was and how she was the reason blonde's get a bad rap for being dumb. She explained the importance of keeping all the nails, "Don't throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house! Duh!"

Great Authors of our time.....

Rusty Bedsprings ~ I.P. Nightly
Spanish Streakers ~ Senor Willie
Spotty Tiger ~ Yu Flung Dung
Great Bulgarian Wreslters ~ Ivor Pullabollokov
Russsian ballet dancers ~ I. Showabollokov
Eastern European Snooker greats ~ I.N. Ofzecush



I'm sure theres more out there

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre !!

So the barman gave her one!!

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

P M S L

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a
magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a
guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.

Q: Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test?

A: Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.

HAHAHAHAHA

Q: Where do you find, a dog with no legs?

A: Right where you left it!!

HA @ That

Santa goes to the doctors and says

Doctor doctor i have a mince pie stuck up my bum

doctor says

ill have to give you some cream for that then

oh.. sorry tidnab.. but that is bad lol!..

good, bad, cringe or laugh...you gotta love 'em lol

Quick tip....if you are going on holiday, and you want your house to be there when you come back....don't leave your landing light on!!

Edited at 15:34 Thu 3/04/08 (BST)

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scot and a Welshman are introducing their sons.

The Englishman says "this is my Son George, He Was born on St Georges Day"

The Scot says "This is my son Andrew, he was born on St Andrews Day"

The Welshman continues "This is my son David, he was born on St Davids Day"

The Irishman grabs his son by the shoulder and turns to walk away, saying "come on Pancake, this is getting embarrassing"

Aaaaaahahahaha!!! Love it!!