Morning Stell..prezzy for ya ...LMAO

Pmsl, them wafers again!

hey Mr. Q, how u doing??

btw, we really need to keep an eye on Paula. she passed out on the BC again

LMAO she's lost some weight since i saw her on the BC yesterday !!

yeah. its probably from the amount of throwing up shes been doing recently

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence," the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman.

"What a coincidence" says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man, "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."

''Fancy that!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I used a different c ock," he replied.

The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

PMFSL!! @ Smurf and Joke..

LMFAO i luurve that one!!

A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. ?I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you?ll have lost at least five pounds.?

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

?Why, that?s amazing!? the doctor said. ?Did you follow my instructions??

The blonde nodded. ?I?ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.?

?From hunger, you mean?? asked the doctor.

?No, from skipping.?

A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I'm gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.

"Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus... so shut the hell up."

haha!, last joke for tonight!, hope ya like em

The Dentist

A guy & a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?" "Didn't feel a thing!"

LMFAO..They're gr8!!

loving this joke

A little boy comes home from school and tells his father that his homework assignment is to find out the difference between potentially and realistically.?

Easy, says his father. First, ask Mom if she?d sleep with the mailman for a million dollars.?

The boy runs off, then comes back and says, She said yes.

Now go ask your sister the same question, advises the father.

Again the boy runs off, and again he comes back and says, She said yes.

So, potentially, we're sitting on two million dollars, replies the father. But, realistically, we?re living with a pair of who res.


Edited at 15:11 Thu 30/11/06 (GMT)

PMSL.

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."

Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, "Where the hell are you going"? She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." He says, "Why, what do you need?" She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.

Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.

So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.

When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.

16 years later

16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom guess what?" "What?"

I peed out a bullet.

So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.

Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom guess what I weed out a bullet."

So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago.

Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom guess what?"

The mom said "let me guess you peed out a bullet."

"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"

sorry

last 1
A guy walks into a bar and sees another guy sitting with a ferret. The guy seems to be stroking it rather lovingly. The first guy asks him, "Why are you stroking that ferret"?

He replies, "Well my friend, the ferret gives the best head in the world".

"Bullcrap, there?s no way a ferret can do that."

"Go try yourself."

So the first guy takes the ferret and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes pass and suddenly there's banging and moaning and screaming coming from the bathroom. The first guy comes out, stroking the ferret lovingly and looks at the second guy. "I will give you $500, no $1000, for this ferret".

The second guy thinks about it for a little while and then nods. "Alright, a thousand dollars it is".

The first guy pays the second guy and takes the ferret home. He places it on the table in front of his wife and tells her the story. She looks at him in amazement, "What am I supposed to do with a $1000 ferret?"


"Teach it to cook and get the heck out!"

Edited at 18:00 Thu 30/11/06 (GMT)

PMSFL!!! THERE GR8 M8!!!!!
ALL OF EM!!!!