LMFAO, PMFLS!

How do you know you're leading a sad life?

When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

They named him Sum Ting Wong.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: Im the breadwinner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Your Mom, shes the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government. Were here to take care of your needs, so well call you the people. The nanny, well consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nannys room.

........Continued /\ /\

Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is full of crap."

Edited at 14:08 Thu 2/11/06 (GMT)

lmfao i like it!!!

HAHAHAHA Me too

PMFSL!

the 19th post i think is...

Banned User 17:01 Sun 30 Apr 06

wo woh woh hang on there chap i know your keen, this joke was on the other jokes thread, see this is what happens when people get there jokes from the internet and copy and paste, just put a link up to a joke site and we can read all these and more!

cheers for the "thanks for the good idea" in advance


could he/she be any more wrong

Lol, yup! gd one stevom, but its stellas religion to paste it lol

Little Mikey is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Little Mikey to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Mikey didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, said, "Why? Mikey, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven."

Mikey thinks that's really neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Little Mikey's dad comes home from work a few hours early. Mikey runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!"

His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?"

"Uncle Bob is blowing up Mommy's balloons and she's screaming, 'Oh God, I'm coming'."

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know. Why don't you play your age?" Then he walked away.

Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she alright?"

The roulette wheel operator replied, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, she just fainted!"

PMSFL

A little old couple prepares to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, Seven Points

His wife rolls over and says, What in the world was that?

The old man replied, It's Fart Rugby.

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, Try and conversion 7 - all

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, Penalty 10 points to 7.

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, Penalty 10-all.

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, Drop goal, I lead 13 to 10.

Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail.

Realising a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally he craps in the bed............

The wife says, “what the hell was that?

The old man says, Half time, change sides.

LMAO...........Hey Stella..FFS (pmsl)

LMFAO!!!!!!!

hahahahahaha! Briliant, good to see the jokes still flow stell !

I dunno where ya get them from but they make me PMSL

A guy was driving through a small town when he came upon a stop sign, and without stopping, proceeded right through.

A local cop turned on his siren and pulled him over.

Upon rolling down the window, the driver let out a flurry of obscenities that began to annoy the officer.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to be quiet. You ran a stop sign back there and I have to give you a ticket."

"Stop sign? I did good enough. I slowed down, looked both ways and kept going" said the irate driver.

The cop replied, "Sir, there's a big difference between stop and slow down."

This really got the driver irate, who began to curse even more, on subjects far too personal after telling him there was no difference.

Finally, the cop pulled him out of the car and began pummeling him. After a minute or so he said, "You want me to stop, or do you want me to slow down?"

LMAO!