A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?"

"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few junctions back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

PMSL!





(hiya)

PMSL

The Ladies Man............

"Boy, I'm scared," Anthony said to one of his friends. "I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife."

"Easy for you to say."

"You like her that much?" the friend asks.

"It's not that," declared Anthony. "He didn't sign his name!"

PMSL HAHAHA

Dave was reading his morning paper as usual when he saw a photo of notably dumb football player and his girl friend, a beautiful young actress.

He looked over the paper at his wife and said, "Why is it the biggest shmucks get the most attractive wives?"

His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear!"

PMSL hahahaha like that one!

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

PMSL love it!!!

PMSL

LOOOL THAT ONE HAD ME LAUGHING HAHAHAHA
nice one KEEP IT UPPPP STELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(how can u think of soo many jokes, or even worse FIND AS MANY!LMAO)

pmsl he hs his ways apparantly!!

A man with two employees, Jack and Mary, fell upon hard times. He knew he had to fire one of them, but which? Jack or Mary? Both were qualified, positive, pleasant... what to do?

Finally, he decided to do it randomly—the first one who went to the water cooler would be axed.

Soon Mary needed to wash down a couple of aspirin and headed for some water. The boss called her into his office and began the painful task.

"I can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off."

"Well," Mary said, "You'd better jack off because I have a headache."

lmfoas stelly lobe it.

stelly !!! were you drunk again pw

loool, good joke STELLY (hehe)

A mum and her 4 year old daughter were walking down the street one day, where they saw to people having a shag up the wall, the daughter said to her mum "mummy, what are they doing?" thinking quickly the mother replied "making cakes".
They carry on down the street down an alleyway where again they saw 2 people having it on a bench
the girl whispered to her mother "are they making cakes mummy?" the mother replied ""yes".
The next day the daughter woke up and went down into the kitchen and said to her mum "were you and daddy making cakes last night?" the mother replied "how did you no?"
The girl replied "i licked the icing of the sofa"