LMAO i was too...luv them ones me Steph HAHAHH

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting freaky with all the women, when suddenly the sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turned to the first man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a cop," said the first man.

"Then we will shoot your dik off!" said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a firemen," said the second man.

"Then we will burn your dik off!" said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"

The third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

Oh, that's bad.

A couple in the middle of a messy divorce case find themselves in court battling over custody of little Johnny, their only child.

In order to make a fair decision over the boys future, the Judge takes Johnny into his private chambers so that he can find out which of the parents the boy would prefer to live with.

"Well, Johnny" says the Judge, "Would you like to live with your Mother?"

"No" replied Johnny, "she hits me all the time"

"Well then," the Judge continues, "Would you like to live your Father?"

"No" replied Johnny again, "He hits me all the time too!"

The Judge looks exasperated and says to the boy "Well Johnny, who would you like to live with?"

"I'd like to live with the West Brom Football Club" the boy replied quickly.

"Why on earth would you want to live with the Watford Football Club?" replied the now extremely puzzled Judge.

"Well" replied Johnny, "They never beat anyone"

Paula might not get that one......haha o/m

It should say wtaford not west brom.

Why are Watford the strongest team in the league?
Cos there holding everyone else up

LMAO @ THAT..

And Cuey grrr i DID get that one

One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.
"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.
"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."
The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.
" Yeah, except today is the last night. "

LMAO Gud One Katie...















Morning Stella x ILY x

Morning Paula ILY2

An old man goes to the doctor and says "Dr., I don't know what's wrong
with me. My dcik is orange."
The Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look. He
has no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently painted
anything orange.
The old man said "No."
The Dr. thinks for a minute and then asks the guy if he has recently
been exposed to any chemicals at work.
The old man said "No, I'm retired."
The Dr. then asks the guy if he could have been working with any
chemicals in his garage.
The old man replied "No Dr., I told you, I'm retired. All I do is sit
around all day, watch pornos and eat Wotsits...

Edited at 11:30 Sun 29/04/07 (BST)

(Ohh no reply to the Mornin?? Grrrr LOL)

PMSL @ THAT

look again

CHEATER!!!! LMAO ILY

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

A: Because they have big fingers.

lmao

LMAO

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process
all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no
actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:


"Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday
someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had
until my next pension check.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for
dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no
family to turn to, and you are my only hope.


Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna "

CONTINUED

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other
workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an
envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a
warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with
her friends.


Christmas came and went.


A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All
the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.


It read,

"Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your
gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a
very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was £4 missing.

I think it must have been those b*stards at the Post Office."

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you £2000 if you let me have sex with you....but the girl said NO.

Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend

.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for £1000; pick up the money very fast and he won't even be able to get his pants down.

So she agrees asks for £1000 and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls again and asks what happened......

She said "The b*stard used coins"

A woman sees a sign outside a shop.....

*G-SPOT licking frog 50p*

So she goes in, and says "I'd like to see the G-SPOT licking frog please!!

And the bloke behind the counter says "Bonjour"











pmfsl @ that !!