Susan K - a blonde - decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

Upon answering the phone, Judi excaims "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static." To which the store clerk responds "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

"It's called Head Cleaner."

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"

The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"

"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.

With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door" She did.

He then said, "Get on your knees" She did.

Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did.

He said, "Go ahead...take it out" She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead!"

The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly "HELLO.....MOM???

lmao

!!!!!!!!!

Blondes have more fun

hehe

Where did Stella go????????

A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom,
packing her suitcase. "What the hell are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm leavin'' you for a better life," she replies. "Where do
you think you're going?" he asks. "I'm going to Las Vegas,"
she answers. "I hear they pay $400 for a blow job there." The
man thinks for a minute, then gets his suitcase out, and
starts packing his clothes. "What the hell are you doing?"
his wife asks. "I'm going to Las Vegas, too," he answers. "I
want to see how you live on $800 a year!"

LMAO!!!

Pmsl!

The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his
wife during a recent love-making session, "How come you never tell me
when you have an orgasm ?"

She looked him rite in the eye and said, "You're never home !"

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go
home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for
making sex."
The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many
positions did you come up with?"
Johnny says, "Seventy-three."
The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."
She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about
you?"
Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just
lays on top of the girl."
Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."

PMFSL!! Class......

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My
name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."

Another guy says, "What's that?"

The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."

Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.

A girl asks, "What's that?"

He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids."

A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a
WIFE."

Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?"

She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fcuk, Etc."

LMAO

Two rednecks brought home a puzzle one day, and sat down to solve it. A week later, they finished the puzzle.

"Well, that didn't take so durn long," said one of them.

"Naw, it didn't. 'Specially considering it says 3-5 years on the box."

pmsl

LMFAO!!! I LOVE IT!!

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after
staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar,
walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began
fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought
you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a B ITCH!" she
screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

LMFAO!!

A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend.
The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making
love ?"

She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I
mean he has a mobile phone and all now."