This is funny......

A man was driving down an Alaskan road and his car broke down. He phoned the Alaskan Mobile Fixit Service and they arrived shortly after. He service man opened the bonnet and after a while the repair man said " It looks like you've blown a seal ", the man replies "No, it's just frost on my moustache."

pmfsl hahahah gud one

And here is today's offering..........
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

LMFAO hahahahahahhahah thats great that one


(wow Stella u were up early!! aw an still tellin jokes too hehe)

I think stella is the ultimate joke master !

Chaps i pmsl at this one............

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on
the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me
a beer before it starts."

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it
starts."

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next
to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get
me another beer, it's going to start any minute."


The wife is furious. She yells at him,

"Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in
front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob,
and furthermore . . ."

The man sighs and says, "It's started."

LMFAO! ur rite Ste, he is,wooooooooooo Stella the funny fella

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your p enis off!", said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your p enis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man,"And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman

hahahahahaa lovin the jokes stella hahahaha

PMFSL!
Go stella! woooooooo lol

a woman has just put some eggs on to boil when her husband walks into the kitchen.
'so whats for breakfast?' the husband asks but she just replies
'you've got to make love to me this very moment!'
Thinking its his lucky day, he throws her onto the kitchen table and they have sex. Afterwards he says
'what was that all about?' to which she replies....

'The egg timer's stopped working'

lmao, nice one beannie

Todays offering.....maynot b the last...

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

HAHA

HAHAHAHAHA

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his hand out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty, would you like to join me?"

He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?"

The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"

"No," she replied, "only those who catch my eye."

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

LMFAO........ya know wot no bull, i smile b4 i even get to the end of these jokes cos i just know they are gunna be gud....pmsl

Keep it up Stella

Pardon !!! i do my best lol

LMAO! ok ok ya knew what i meant


(u had too much booze me thinks hehe)