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09:00 Tue 23 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhoea. Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhoea, not gonorrhoea." Replied the widow, "Yes, I know that he died of diarrhoea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big s hit that he really was."
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09:55 Tue 23 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
An older woman gets a face lift and shes proud of the way she looks so she goes out in the town and askes a man "how old do you think I am". The man replies "Ummm, I dont know 28?" the woman answers "Nope I'm 48 but nice try!"
She then purchases brunch at a local McDononalds. She askes the waiter "How old do you think I am" he says "31?" she says "nope 48 but nice try" Then she walks up to an old man and asks him "How old do you thik I am?" he says "I can tell how old women are by sticking my hand down their pants" She reluctantly allows him do to so... and he does and he says "Ok your 48!" she gasps "How did you know" he says "Well to tell you the truth I was standing behind you at McDonalds"
She then purchases brunch at a local McDononalds. She askes the waiter "How old do you think I am" he says "31?" she says "nope 48 but nice try" Then she walks up to an old man and asks him "How old do you thik I am?" he says "I can tell how old women are by sticking my hand down their pants" She reluctantly allows him do to so... and he does and he says "Ok your 48!" she gasps "How did you know" he says "Well to tell you the truth I was standing behind you at McDonalds"
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10:37 Tue 23 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
PMSL @ THAT ONE, I LOVE IT!!!
stellaman said:
An older woman gets a face lift and shes proud of the way she looks so she goes out in the town and askes a man "how old do you think I am". The man replies "Ummm, I dont know 28?" the woman answers "Nope I'm 48 but nice try!"
She then purchases brunch at a local McDononalds. She askes the waiter "How old do you think I am" he says "31?" she says "nope 48 but nice try" Then she walks up to an old man and asks him "How old do you thik I am?" he says "I can tell how old women are by sticking my hand down their pants" She reluctantly allows him do to so... and he does and he says "Ok your 48!" she gasps "How did you know" he says "Well to tell you the truth I was standing behind you at McDonalds"
She then purchases brunch at a local McDononalds. She askes the waiter "How old do you think I am" he says "31?" she says "nope 48 but nice try" Then she walks up to an old man and asks him "How old do you thik I am?" he says "I can tell how old women are by sticking my hand down their pants" She reluctantly allows him do to so... and he does and he says "Ok your 48!" she gasps "How did you know" he says "Well to tell you the truth I was standing behind you at McDonalds"
PMSL @ THAT ONE, I LOVE IT!!!
Deleted User
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04:51 Wed 24 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
A guy was sitting at the FA Cup final in the very best seat available.
The guy on his left noticed there was an empty seat next to him and
said, "Can you believe someone actually paid for that seat and didn't come to the game?"
The fellow next to him replied, "Actually that's my wife's seat...we bought these tickets months ago. Unfortunately, my wife passed away so came alone."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but why didn't you give the ticket to a family member or friend?"
"Oh, they're all at the funeral."
The guy on his left noticed there was an empty seat next to him and
said, "Can you believe someone actually paid for that seat and didn't come to the game?"
The fellow next to him replied, "Actually that's my wife's seat...we bought these tickets months ago. Unfortunately, my wife passed away so came alone."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but why didn't you give the ticket to a family member or friend?"
"Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Deleted User
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07:47 Wed 24 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
What kind of Bees make honey?
Honey Bees!
What kind of Bees make Milk?
BOOBEES!
Honey Bees!
What kind of Bees make Milk?
BOOBEES!
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08:42 Wed 24 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take
your pick?
Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer.
your pick?
Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer.
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10:03 Wed 24 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
Oh this tickled me ROFL
What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
Hump me dump me
What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
Hump me dump me
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10:12 Wed 24 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Peeing in the bath is disgusting.
Peeing in the bath is disgusting.
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10:25 Wed 24 Jan 07 (GMT) [Link]
Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?
A: To smell like big girls.
A: To smell like big girls.
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Good Jokes Only!!!
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