you can get someone in to fix your heating,
you can get a lady in to clean your house,
you can take your best suit to the dry cleaners,
or get a pest control person to catch a mouse.

if yer heart is suddenly beating irregularly,
or a bone is broken in your leg,
a doctor will come try and fix you,
and probably tell you to stop smoking those fegs!!

what I need I don't think I am getting,
there's no cure for an ailment like mine,
I can hear what people usually tell others,
it'll all be alright....if ya give it time.

I was gone for a while, but now im back,
I'll say hello with a smile and we'll have a good craic.
My pool's a bit rusty, my cue case is dusty,
My breath is still fusty, and my pants are still crusty

Hope that you peeps, you beautiful fray,
In the weeks and the months that I've been away,
Have been doing good, but get some practice (I would),
Coz im back to beat you all and rub your face in the mud!

Welcome back Ryan!
You were gone a long time
It's nice to see you again
I love that you can rhyme

I've never felt love like it,
im_crap_adam makes me blush,
he only needs to look at me,
and then I start to blush :o

his romantics are to die for,
he's generous to a fault,
I live for the very next time,
he attacks......with an amorous assault

gaz your mad
i love you but my poems are bad
not so much a poem more of a rhyme
i love ellie goulding so you're wasting your time <3

mad, maaddddd,
I may be just a tad,
amma lonely single laaadddd,
and smellie moulding is just a fad!!!

a fad to you but an angel to me
a touch or a kiss in one little dream
is enough to keep a man the husband to be
see to you it might be a game
but for me she's best
not just a waitress or someone to blame.

Don't get it twisted gaz
i got nuff love for you my brother
but im living down in essex on the streets of baz! x

Years I was with her, but it seemed like days,
Absolutely adored her, times I was in a daze,
But it came to an abrupt end, apparently no-ones fault,
So we went our separate way, finished, ended, halt.

What can happen next, it seems too much to take,
People saying 'its going to get better' sound fake,
Not sure who to trust, or where to turn,
Girls are all bad, when will I learn?

Well the big mans here, not a single skill he does not lack,
Showing off skills on the baize, with plenty of banter and craic!
Whether it be writing a poem, or some witty banter,
Or breaking off and running out at a canter,
Our man hippesville, brings a smile to most,
I bet at house parties, he's a cracking host!

a house party would be great,
am just lackin the accommodation,
hope it's not too long until I'm rid,
of my cardboard box at my local train station!!

Lets all go to the station, and set down a box,
Take a few litres of cider, and maybe a bit vodka,
Dancing on the platform, shouting 'this party rocks!'
We aint sharing our boose, you bloody w***a!

Wow! What a lot of poems
That ive just had to read
I was pleasantly surprised
The were very good indeed
So now i'll do a random one
From words that pop into my head
It could be old mumble jumble
Or about a garden shed!
Its easy peasy just typing
Typing just any old word
Happily tap tapping away
About anything but nothing absurd
Maybe i'll type til midnight
Or i might stop in a mo
I might even say something
About my swollen toe!
Toes are weird dont ya think
They look awful odd to me
A beautiful little butterfly
Floating around a tree
I told ya this would be random
Getting creepy bit by bit
Oh at least you lot have sat an read
A poem thats full of.......crap!

allo dear paula,
and how are yer shoes,
it was great about your baby,
I hear it mews and mews,
a coat that's made of curtains,
eyes so black they're black,
don't ask me where I'm going here,
I must be at the craic!

I want you all to thank me
I did everyone a massive favour
I killed the biggest bumble bee
I couldn't get any braver
It took me a while to find it
After hearing it buzz all day
It chased me round the living room
And for that it had to pay
It was the queen of all queen bees
One of a kind I'm telling you
I'm sure it should have been kept
On show behind glass in a zoo
I caught it in a cup at first
But that just made it mad
I was scared to move it from there
So I lifted the cup just a tad
It flew around the room
Looking for a way out
The noises it was making
I swear I heard it shout
By this time I'd had enough
So off came me shoe
I whacked it about 10 times
Now me walls covered in goo

amazin ang keep er lit!!

Why can't I be like all the other kids?

They all have three-bedroom homes,
Broken trucks on their lawns,
And cut-up hot dogs for lunch,
It's not my fault my parents succeed so much,
There's no one in town I can relate to,
I play with autographed baseball bats,
While everyone else just plays with sticks and pine cones,
Has a boy ever felt so alone?,
Well, who needs them anyway?,
I won't pretend to be something I'm not,
If I can't be poor, I've got to deal with what I've got,
If I can't be like them what I need is more rich kids around,
So I'm not the only one, and then I won't be so down,
Please, God, send more rich kids to my town.


Stolen from South Park (because it's that funny)

hippes and ang did battle t0night,
an fcl clan match, that was friendly and tight,
the l0rd answered hippes' prayers,
he p0tted quite well,
and at the hands 0f this master,
the l0vely ang fell.

in 8 ball hippes was awes0me,
he cleared twice fr0m the break,
the writing in the chat window,
even th0ught it was a mistake!!
9 was a l0t cl0ser,
uk much the same,
g00d craic and g00d banter,
and s0me very g00d games xxxxx

Oh dear, it happened last night,
Drank too much, and try as i might,
I have a situation, probably quite funny,
I'd laugh too, if it didn't involve me!

Chatting to some ladies, having a good craic,
The beer helping my confidence, which i usually lack,
Meeting one on saturday night, cheeky grin across my face,
Take her to a club, listen to some drum and bass!

But then, jambo's mind went awol,
And this is the bit where you'll lol,
I decided it would be good to ask the other one out,
On sat night also, I'm gonna get a clout!!

Waiting for a game of killer
cleocutie_is waiting too
Hurry up and die franer_
Or i'll hit you with me shoe
zantetzukenz you dead yet?
"Ya man" should be your reply
I just want a game now
Die you morons die!!!

I couldn't be that impatient,
for killer boils my peeeeeee,
the attraction isn't evident,
for hippesville just can't see,
sittin playin one shot,
then waitin for a while,
this game simply doesn't amuse me,
it takes away my smile