was you drunk when writing this ???
a granny said you need a kiss

Edited at 13:49 Sat 10/05/14 (BST)

It's time to do some work now,
Two hours at max I pray,
For after I'll be heading out,
To imbibe and laugh and play.

The season has ended, and it was tight,
We showed our strength, and all our might,
We tried our best, but it wasn't enough,
If we spend £100m, we shall show you some stuff!

For us the season ended,
quite a lonnnnnng time ago,
our team had lost it's manager,
and a new one was on show,
we spent 2 days at the top of the league,
a downward spiral from there,
so many Manchester United fans,
through the year pulled out lots n lots of hair!

wd city

Well, it seemed that hippes was a friend,
but now i know he's a red, its come to a dead end,
quite a shame, and a shocker it seems,
but i cant help it, he supports the wrong red team!

one match is to blame,
where the scouse weren't at home,
when they went to the palace,
their chances were blown,
with as little as 12 minutes,
and three goals ahead,
palace did the business,
title hopes left in shreds

It was a week before then, that our dreams deserted us,
Chelsea came to Anfield, and parked a massive bus,
Stevie slipped, Demba Ba stroked one in,
Pushed men forward, leaving one at the back was our sin.

Losing that game, most heads dropped,
Supporters knew then, the title dream had popped,
We wished, we hoped, but then messed it up,
You should never draw, when you're 3-0 up!

I'm not a fan of footy
Except on derby day
So footy poems are banned
I'm afraid its the only way
Why you supporting Man U
When your Oirish through and through
Its this I'll never understand
Why, to your city you're not true
It's like saying I support Sunderland
When I'm a Geordie born and bred
Admitting I was a mackem
I'd be kicked right in the head!

Hahaha Liverpool choke
But Man U was the seasons joke
Could be worse, you could be Leeds
Forever caught up in football weeds

in this wee country,
we haven't many teams,
who shine and play football,
like the English it seems,
we're as loyal as the resta yaz,
we travel afar,
to see all our idols,
and put money over yer bars!!

yes we follow man united,
liverpool Chelsea and all,
some even follow Newcastle!
and they can't even kick a ball,
yet we have great satisfaction,
in the knowledge that we had,
a better player than you's will ever have,
Georgie Best....the Belfast lad.

where it all went to,
what happened I don't know,
the whole damn thing went pear shaped,
am lost and oh so low

Cheer up things will get better
Your never short of a friend
You're loved by oh so many
Even those who you may offend

Haven't got time, to construct an essay,
But with the time I have got, this I will say,
George Best, without doubt, the ultimate LAD!
Gone before he should, for reasons which were bad :(

if only he wasn't a man,
I'd wine and dine 'our fran'!
he'd be showered with flowers,
we'd drink and get flirty for hours,
then we'd run away to wales....and get a tan!!!

What's wrong with him being a man
Don't knock it until you've tried it I say
We wont think any less of you
If that's the way you want to play

where would we be if we didn't have them,
such a panic when you've left it behind,
or worse still yer not sure where ya left it,
life's ended, for my mobile I can't find!!

text messages, whatsapp or snapchat,
then there's twitter and of course bakebook too,
there's no reason not to take it everywhere with ya,
even when yer sat on the throne doin a poo!!!

we're so scared of maybe missing out on some scandal,
or a message of amorous delights,
finding out all the latest bits of gossip,
then you cry when the battery dies n there's no lights

I'm not good with mobile phones
I've broke everyone I've had
I'm gutted every time
It makes me very sad
Just had to pay 30 quid
My son shattered the whole screen
He chucked it at the wall
Which I thought was a bit mean
One got absolutely soaked
I dropped it in the bath
Hippes thinks I was taking pics
Which always makes me laugh
Another I fell asleep on
It never worked again
I really need to be careful
It costs me and its a pain!

Where have all the poets gone?
Four days and not a verse,
So get yer finger out and type,
Or paula's yapping will get worse!

I woke up yesterday, with the hangover from hell
I was iller than the illest man in the world
I came down stairs and sat for a while
If I moved I would have hurled
Then it hit me, I remembered what I'd said
"We'll definitely go to the beach in the morning"
The head was throbbing and I could hardly focus
I was so tired, I couldn't stop yawning
I was thinking of excuses why we couldn't go
Or things we could do instead
Then in they came, bouncing through the door
Remembering every word I'd said
So off we went, hanging out me hoop
With me towels, bucket and spade
Praying they'd play together having fun
Leaving me to suffer in the shade
Shade on a beach? What was I thinking??
So I covered us all in cream
I lay there frying, wishing it was me bed
Was nice and peaceful like a dream
Three kids on the beach, as if that's gonna be peaceful
But at least I'll be nice and tanned
Next thing I know, they burst out laughing
And me whole body's covered in sand
If I'd had the energy, I would have played the game
Burying all three of them neck high
I doubt I would have let them out though
Walking away and saying good bye! lol