Wish granted, but being you, you go back to the time of Jesus, make a pass at him, he fathers your children, and Jesus is no longer the saint we all thought he was AND YOU HAVE RUINED CHRISTIANITY!

I wish I could be a professional table tennis player!

That'd make me Mary Magdalene according to Dan Brown!

Granted, but to do so you need to become Chinese, which you do, and being you, you make a pass at yourself because you look different, get scared, run off and drown in a puddle just off of the M2.

I wish I lived in a bigger house!

Dan Brown's a lesbian

Wish granted, but being you, you wind up getting lost in your bigger house and are left isolated for 25 days before someone comes and finds you but by then, it's too late...

I wish every day was Saturday!

Pmsl! I love DB!

Granted, but you, being you, take up a job where you only work one day a week! That day being...yup...you've guessed it...Saturday!

I wish, for the purpose of the next post, that I wasn't me!

Wish granted, but the process is found to be irreversible and you are stuck being a 90 year old man

I wish Tiger Woods wasn't so bloody good

Granted, only because he was having a bad day!

I wish Niall wasn't so good on COD! For those who don't know, a game on the Xbox...

Granted, but only because he was having a bad day!

I wish I wasn't completely perfect, just for one day!

Oh dear...

Wish granted, but on the "one" day you are not "perfect", everyone grows to hate you and that stays when you return to your state of "perfection"

I wish Summer wasn't so deluded!

Granted, but your delusion increases to the point that you don't believe I am perfect!

I wish I had a hovercraft!

Wish granted, but on your first escapade into the sea, the engine fails and just as you're about to drown a penguin saves you but unfortunately dies herself and that was the last ever female penguin

I wish dinosaurs weren't extinct!

Granted, but they mate with penguins and spawn a race of super-penguins. The dinosaurs die out, but the regular penguins working alongside the super-penguins, and myself, being perfect and all, take over the world!

I wish I could shrink myself!

Wish granted, but you become sooooo small and unnoticeable that everyone forgets that you ever existed and your life is ruined

I wish I had a puppy again

Granted, but it got stolen

I wish my dog could walk round the block it's self without me having to walk it!

I suppose it can stick his head out the car window do get some fresh air.

Pmslllll!!! Lazyyyy!

Granted, but before long it wonders why it does it so just runs off instead!

I wish I could play squash professionally!

Granted, but you kept getting a stich from stuffing cakes.

I wish I could be a proffesional table tennis player!

Granted, but to do so you need to become Chinese, which you do, and being you, you make a pass at yourself because you look different, get scared, run off and drown in a puddle just off of the M2.

I wish URA wouldn't steal my wishes

Omg, I seriously didnt know...

Lol! ^^

Granted, but for 10 mins.

I wish I wasn't getting towards the end of the 24 hour limit.

Wtf lol!

That is your sentence exactly, Im honest I did not copy it in anyway, what were the chances of that?

Maybe you looked at it ^^^ and then forgot about it and posted it