Summer, Princess Charming was meant to be you, or would you not kiss me neither

Granted, but your back starts to ache instead.

I wish my right thumb wasn't swollen any more

Granted, but your left thumb swells up to the size of a medium-sized anaconda.

I wish my magnet would not screw up my phone!

Granted but Niall throws your phone in a puddle of water and that screws it up instead.

I wish my project would do itself.

Granted, but it makes itself one word long because it's lazy.

I wish my exams weren't soooo damned close!

Couldn't it even write my name, that's two words

Granted, but the exams were on topics that you have no idea on and therefore fail.

I wish I was back in the 1990s

Clearly not!

Granted, but you get trapped waiting for the new millennium which never comes around...

I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair!

Wish granted, but along with the flowers, your hair starts to rot and you become bald

I wish this year, and not next year, was my last in college!

Granted but you realise seeing as it's your last year, you are going to spend the rest of your life followning that year in a job you hate, with people who annoy you, and a location that smells of sulfur?..

I wish i never had to do another assignment again!

Wish granted, but instead of doing assignments you are overloaded with weekly exams in every subject, and it becomes so much that you quit college and become a bum

I wish it would stay bright all day!

Haha i wouldn't mind becoming a bum actually

Granted! but you never get any sleep because it's always bright, you all become angry insomniacs, become too tired to do anyhting and your society falls apart in 2 weeks!

I wish.. i wish i had as much fun as i did yesterday - everyday!

Wish granted, but you become so overcome by the euphoria that comes with each and every day that you start to annoy everyone else with your eternal happiness and you become lonely!

I wish I could win every poker tournament I enter

Granted! but people become so suspicious of you constantly winning they assume you're cheating and take all your winnings from you!

I wish.. wish these wishes would actually come true..

You mean they don't?!

Granted, but it takes them each a decade to work and you have to pay the corrupter a sum of £47.82, a yo-yo and a handful of peanuts!

I wish.........I could have a fiver for every wish that was made!

Granted, but everytime you are given a fiver, a tenner is taken away.

I wish my project had easier words to pronounce

They aren't hard! Granted, but you have to use: TPHOLYBOLIMNOES, which confuses everyone and you end up failing miserably!

I wish I had a simple way to learn my french properly, easily without any effort!

I wish my mum wins the lottery

Granted! but she loses the ticket and has no proof she won

I wish for more hours in the day to do things!

Granted but the 48 hours in the day are only 30 minutes long

I wish I was invited to Melz and Bob's wedding

Haha *shakes her head at you*

umm.. Granted! but you're only there to take after the guests children - so you spend the whole time with under 10 year old that tie you up to your chair and torture you for so long you're too traumatised to ever go to another wedding! even the word makes you run and hide under your bed

I wish oh, i wish i had cool super powers!

Granted, but Nick takes them off you along with all the other glittery items you possess

I wish my work would do itself