LMFAO I like that one!

This bloke was ordered from the swimming pool for Weeing in the water.
"That's ridiculous!" he shouted at the pool manager. "Everybody does it,
you know."
"That may be so," came the reply, "but usually not from the diving board."

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Blonde Joke (will get paula annoyed)


What would land first.

A Brunette Santa Claus Or a Smart Blonde.


The Brunette, because the other 2 dont exist!

I'm blonde too, you know.

Sorry haha!!!



But u are smart at literacy!

Edited at 07:54 Tue 14/08/07 (BST)

Lmao @ them

Oh i missed that one...lmfao!!!

Edited by forum moderator lorrie, at 00:22 Fri 24/08/07 (BST)

"Can I have some Irish Sausages,please?"asked the Irishman,walking up to the counter. The assistant looked at him and asked:"Are you Irish?"
"If I had asked you for Italian sausage,would you ask me if I was Italian"?Demanded the Irishman .
"Or,if I asked for German Bratwurst,would you ask me if I was German?"
Then, warming to his theme, he went on:
"Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog,would you ask me if I was Jewish?
"Or,if I asked you for a taco,would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would Ya?"
The assistant said:"Well no".
Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps it up a gear.
"And if I asked you for frogs legs,would you ask me if I was French"?
"What about Danish Bacon,would you ask me if I was Danish?"
"Well no,I wouldn't,"said the assistant.
So,now bursting with righteousness,the Irishman says, "Well, all right then,why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?"

The assistant said: "Cos ur in bloody B&Q"

LMAO!

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Walsall couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.

On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The RAC mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead!!

Lmao at that!

Heh-heh-heh.....

Please keep the jokes clean. Absolutely no racism is tolerated. Thanks.

Edited by forum moderator katie_bug, at 05:59 Fri 17/08/07 (BST)

tut tut wolves naughty boy

Shocking Behaviour *tuts*

The medical student was asked four reasons why mother's milk was better for babies than cow's milk.
This is the answer he submitted:
1. It's fresher.
2. It's cleaner.
3. The cats can't get to it.
4. It's easier to take on a picnic.
He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."

>.<

Typical men. *rolls eyes*

LMAO I like it!

A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
1st is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.As he does this,a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss,he beats
it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.
He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moved on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American bees.
As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.
By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything.

Read on............