HURT

I really tried hard to keep my pride
The day that he admitted he'd lied
I tried to keep all my pain inside
Behind closed doors sat and cried

I kept asking why do it to me
Had i hurt him but couldnt see
Was he really doing it delibaratly
Making my tears flow like the sea

Its happened before but no-one knew
I laughed around forums but was blue
Not showing the feelings that were true
The feelings that nearly broke me in two

It also made me really kind of mad
Cos some ppl think its me whos bad
But all ive done is Love him im glad
Ive done him no wrong yet im sad



Cont'

Edited at 00:10 Fri 30/05/08 (BST)

Cont'

To people who read i want you to know
Ive done nothing to hurt your mate so
Its him jeopardising us and letting us go
I thought our Love wud grow and grow.

So what do i do to heal my pain
Before these times drive me insane
Do i just give in was it all in vain
Or do i wait just to be hurt again

Before i do go round the bend
This is a message i want to send
If we part as my heart tries to mend
You'll be in my soul til the very end.


~Paula~








(PS: I'm trying......AGAIN)

Edited at 00:10 Fri 30/05/08 (BST)

Nice Poem Paula

*big bear hug for paula*

(Thankyou Si, means a lot)

"AM GOING!" you sed, "ur doing it again"
Yeah go on, give me all the blame
Tried making ME feel the shame
As YOU was playing ur lying game

And so i quizzed myself once more
Is it really me cos im not that sure
This has happened many times before
Making my salty tears drop to the floor

Just exactly what is it ive really done?
As ive been blamed since it begun
As soon as we lost our sense of fun
Some people seem to give me the shun

Of course im no angel of that i know
But all this mess just goes to show
Its not always me who lets it blow
Yet im the one made to feel so low

Maybe in time then you will see
Just how much youve really hurt me
Trust me i am trying to forgive thee
Its really tough but what will be will be.

~Paula~


Edited at 13:36 Fri 30/05/08 (BST)

Edited at 13:37 Fri 30/05/08 (BST)

SORRY


Im hurt and im angry and feeling Blue
I promise im not trying to humiliate you
Im just expressing what i now feel
Cos please believe me this pains real
You know I LOVE YOU with all my heart
And ive done so from the very start
Its just so tough for me right this min
Even tho ive not committed any sin
For all am saying and i cry as i type
I dont wanna be caught in all this hype
I want my Stell back the one that i knew
The one that i fell for and loved so true
I know your still out there thinkin of me
Even tho this relationship may no longer be
IM SORRY if my poems have made u mad
But try understand that i'm feeling so sad
Remember this also if what we hads gone
I meant every word of that three eight and one


~ TF FF FF MF PW Fishcake Puddles Paula!!! ~

There great Paula, Very Deep & Beautiful

(Do me a Ghetto one from the Hotel where Faz tryed to Kill us)

*Hugs*

Thanks Pit *Hugs*

Ill try do one soon.. need a funny one rather than what ive been posting..god ive never posted them like that before i dont think...

Oh am not meself so not my fault huh!

Angry guy

Anger is anger
I ain't nice
Get in my way
And you will pay the price

Give me a bat
Anything will do
Just to get rid,of the stench of you

Angry i am
Angry i stay
It's a way of life
Nothing in my way

*paints a big ol smiley face on zodiacs shirt*

One night i signed into MSN
Got a nudge of him again
Thought here we go this is it
Naw got to put up with fat Pit

But had a laff as we sometimes do
Even making up a story or two
In this one we was on the run
getting chased by Faz and his gun!

Jumped in a car Sped of fast
Faund some Motel in sum st at last
We was safe till we looked thru the winda
Who was there oh no Its Pinda!

Lookin for us cos Faz told him to
OH MY GOD! what do we do
Shall we run or stay and fite
Nah we legged it into the night

Dont ask me how the tale did end
Cos i dunno were just round the bend
Bored and laughing passing time too
Having MSN fun just like mates do!!


LOL There ya go!

~Paula~

WOW I LAVE IT

Hahaha Thats really good that,
Brings back happy memories

What happened in the end?? YOU FLIPPIN KNOW!
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*Hugs*lol

Oh Yh!


So in the end, we was crap
In an instant forgot our 'BRAP'
But all that truly really mattered
Was that we didnt get flippin battered!

~Paula~












(amm tryin am tryin!!)

I cant understand it am confused too
But ive been told to move on by you
Im really hurting my heart it aches
I know that i also made some mistakes
Ive sent you msgs, emails, poems i post
In a pm i got five mins at the most
Theres nothing left now that i can do
Apart from do what you have asked me to
So ill do as requested and go my own way
But times shared in my heart will stay




~Paula~








Note to everyone: Sorry for posting my personal poems, those that know me should know i dnt usually open up (wen its over a row! lol) and those that know me better shud understand.

*hugs P*

x

*Hugs P*

x

I don't wanna go
I wanna stay with you forever
Hold me in your arms
Let me feel your beating heart
We should always be together

I don't want to leave you
Even for a minute
I couldn't stand to live my life
A single day without you in it
They say that time heals all wounds
But I can't wait for later
Anyway, I'm afraid if I walk away
This time it could be fatal

I don't want you to be
Just another memory
That keeps me awake at night
Leaves me tryin' to hold on to
Tryin' to get you back into my life

I don't wanna go
You have to drag me off in chains
Don't leave me in the dark
Don't let me drift too far
You know I couldn't stand the pain

Yeah we should always always be together

Courtesy of Billy Goodrum!

Thanks K *Hugs*

Thanks Pit *Hugs*

Grae, good poem




Jill, ur turn

I've said my piece, and I have apologised
Don't feel the need, now, to be ostracised
It's hard enough, to admit you have done wrong
I've heard it so much lately, in many a song

You have all seen the poems, you all know the score
It seems like Paula's decided, we are no more
She has opened up our troubles, here online
So now I will take the time out, to type the odd line

Isn't it funny, when finally the truth comes out
The female form bubbles, and begins to spout
Straight for the heart, in the form of a ghost
In goes the poison, to the heart they love most

Well, let me say just say this, I am here to bloody stay
I will answer her e-mails, her messages in my own way
Paula, this is not a battle, of who is hurting most
And this is really killing me, writing this post

I know you are hurting, I really am too
But still please believe that I still do LOVE YOU
We both have too swallow, this most bitter pill
But whatever the outcome, I will LOVE YOU still.

~Stell~

Omg ive got a lump in my throat